reflections of an only child...struggling to shatter stereotypes, battling against the demons of loneliness in hi heeled sandals and a tiara...welcome to the alcoves of my mind.
- ► October (8)
- ► May (7)
- ► March (9)
- ► 2007 (78)
so after ages, i've been cruising the blogs as they say (ok, im lying - they dont say that), but it has become strikingly clear that blogging has lost its essence. i dont know if it had one to begin with, but yeah, whatever scrap of truth and free speechiness there was about it has gone. people are mean. instead of just letting things be, everybody just has to have an opinion. its the reason i left for a while before. if you dont like what someone blogs, dont say anything at all. just be happy that the number of computer literate people is increasing in SA and they arent emotionally retarded.
but really, the bus stop is like having a daily dose of the theatre..well more like a reality show..sometimes its Survivor (huddling under the shelter under the umbrella while your Skechers with the glitter on them get drenced). other times its The Amazing Race - when you have to practically run halfway into the road to wave the bus down in order to get to the place on time - (of course breakdowns and lost drivers make this all the more exhilirating) and often, its Fear Factor....where you find yourself staring out the window with a beeeeg unknown flying insect crawling across your view or! (insert Jaws music here)....sitting squished between a fat mama and the window on a hot summer day while mama decides to get friendly and put her arm up behind you. yeah...bring it on, i've been through the worse..and that includes the taxi's...which i traveled in today. i had the pleasure of taking a drive in 'Midnight Sensation' which had Barry White crooning in my ears til we reached West Street. Although Midnight Temptation and Midnight Breeze are in a similar league. 'Just Cruising' lies...it doesnt cruise..it flies through town and weaves through traffic and by the end of the trip, you're left with an afro and the feeling that you're still moving. but 'South Side' really takes it...especially since it goes to North beach..which leaves many confused. but the plush pink velvet interior and the blue tinted windows makes up for it. really, you ppl in cars dont know what you're missing ;)
but its the converstations you hear at the bus stop that truly make it a unique and fascinating place...
girl on cellphone next to me: what! he's threatening to kill himself coz we broke up??? the idiot! im on the way to campus..i soooo dont need this now..put him on the phone! just put him on the phone!!....hello? yeah, you screwed up dude! its all your fault. dont be all pathetic- you must live with what you did!'
and with that, she cut the call and got on the bus.
we have a cool friendly security gaurd that guards the stop, who chats to like everybody and took it upon himself to chat to me very cute sweet, innocent friend..
guard: 'eish its cold today..'
friend: 'yeah! the night was really freezing'
guard: 'yeah..i was cold too..it must be coz i sleep alone. i need a fat girlfriend - then i'll be ok. i like them fat...you must see.there's a nice fat one in clicks.'
then there are those who pump you for information....its like the inquisition and the bus is your only hope of getting away! but for some reason beggars think that you're the ultimate target. i mean you stand there with exact bus fare ready..and then they come and ask and i feel really bad..but really - people who take the bus need the change! we've had some incident of people getting thrown of the bus coz they waltz on with a R50 note. eish..thats embarassing.. whats more embarassing is getting up to get off and flying to the front on your butt coz the driver hits the breaks really hard lol...or throwing up on the bus (i have blessed a few buses in my childhood...ah good times).
anyhoo...i shall be off...niki and i have some serious government business to attend to of official importance. the cyber advnetures of niki and Q - battling the binary codes and surfing through the channels of communication while eating cookies and hacking into facebook ;)
okbye. oh and if you're stuck at the bus stop of your life and the bus is late..or isnt coming..take Midnight Sensation..you'll never know where it may lead. this is advice for life.
It was the night before Shiraz’s birthday and Joe, Q, Niki, Was and Mj found themselves at Waseem’s place rehearsing their happy birthday song for Shiraz..the remixed version…
Mj: this whole singing thing is Haraam! I don’t wanna do this anymore. Its gay.
Jo: no! We need to do this more theatrically people! Im directing! I did drama!
Mj: yeah, but you didn’t do 3B. Loser.
Was: hey shut up – her father’s on tv!
Niki: Omg! I had a dream about this exact moment!! Except..we were at the movies and we didn’t know each other.
Mj: Q, we’re all in your head and all you can say is wow?
Jo: don’t be mean Mj! Can’t you see she’s having a bad hair day?
Q: I am?
Mj: nice one Jo
Was (blocking the mirror): er..
Niki: no man. ‘That’s’ in fashion now!
Waseem: Sssshhhh….Shiraz is coming!!! Get in the closet everybody!
Mj: Im in the closet! Im in the closet!
Q, Jo and Niki: me too! Me too!
Shiraz opens the door: I thought I heard voices down here.
Waseem: no, it was me…I haven’t told you this before. But I have a split personality…I know. It’s a shock. Please don’t disown me.
Shiraz: oh no, first my girlfriend! Now my brother!
Meanwhile..in the closet..
Jo: something’s poking me!
Mj: you wish.
Q: im hungry
Niki: me too – oh wait let me make popcorn. I found this copper wire. Im sure I can conduct some electricity…
Before anybody could scream Nooooooo! There was the huge pop of corn and a mini explosion and Mj tumbled out of the closet in a poof of smoke.
Shiraz: MJ! What the hell!
The tension was too much for Waseem to handle and suddenly he resorted to the safety of his other personality, Ramadaan Alli, the Pakistani dress designer.
Ramadaan Alli: oh my Mj! Darling! What amazing taste you have! Lets see what else is hiding in the closet!
With a flourish, he threw open the closet and there stood Niki, Q and Joe...Niki holding the burnt copper wire, Jo with popcorn in her hair..and Q who’s hair was perfect after the explosion.
Shiraz: what the hell! What the hell!
Mj: we can explain, its not what it looks like…
Mj: ok maybe it is what it looks like.
Q: no, we were just hungry and looking for food so we came to your house.ya. That’s all. *flash*
Shiraz: wow! oh ok..that makes sense honey…my squishywishy lovebug. You’re so amazing…and sparkly
Niki: what just happened…
Mj: wait! I missed that!!
Jo: hey I brought mutton curry!
At the mention of Mutton Curry, Waseem came back to himself..
Waseem: hey what happened? And why am I wearing a pink shirt?
But horror of all horrors…Waseem thought he would see his beloved Mutton Curry, Jo instead pulled out a pot of mutton curry from her Pick and Pay bag…
Waseem: omg! What did you doo!!
Jo: um, the butchery was closed so I made qurbani of Mutton Curry. But here – I saved his heart for you.
Mj: dish up already! And I can’t wait the whole night to surprise Shiraz with our song.
Shiraz: ooh surprise? Yay!
Q: yeah yeah! but its not quite ready yet..
Shiraz: omg guys. This is like the best birthday ever!
Jo, Q and Niki: We know! We know! And look – we put your picture in the post under ‘look who turned 16 today’
Q: yeah…but the pic is of the back of you’re head..so that you’re incog…incogn..incognito!
Shiraz: aww baby, you learnt the meaning of the word!
Niki: I know you stole this from that movie we watched Q
Q: yeah but only we watch Friday movies on etv at 2.30pm so all these people don’t know what I plagiarized.
Meanwhile..Mj had received at urgent call from his producer. It seemed the set of his show had been torched by various angry and jealous bloggers under the very original and cryptic name of ‘Anonymous’
Mj: eff! We’re gonna have to shoot here now.
Waseem: omg. my place is gonna be on TV! Ok, but in that case, we all have to be on the show!
Niki: finally! The real Jessica Alba will be revealed tonight! And all the world will see me!! Muhhahaha!!
Q: *sniff* don’t do that Niki..it scary when you laugh like that.
Shiraz: see what you did now! What the hell do I do now. Crap.
Mj: ok shut the eff up everybody! We’re live!
Mj: ahem..eff eff eff..ok ‘Assalamualaikum everybody and welcome to the Mj..’
Jo (sticking her head and ear into the frame): no today it’s the Jo and Was and Niki and Shiraz and Q and Mj show..and yes, yes im AK’s daughter’
Mj: right. As you can see viewers…we have some unexpected guests on the show that I picked up on the side of the road.
Waseem: hey what you saying about my place?
Mj: and today we’ll be interviewing somebody very important who has become a light in the darkness for all of mankind..Noorie.
Niki aka Noorie: im so honoured to be here…to bestow my noor upon everybody in times of upcoming load shedding.
Q: when am I gonna be on? When? When?
Mj: ok as you can see, our enthusiastic guest on this side would like to share something with you
Q: oh..am I on? Ok..so here’s how to make a card.. first..you take paper.and then you take scissors and then you sniff some glue..come on..inhale..inhale
Waseem: this is boring. Jo can make origami thingies!
Jo: yeah! Look! I make 5000 stars.
Q: so what! Its all katchra!
Mj: I think we need to move this outside. Noorie come with us, one of the lights blew. So our topic for the day is the deterioration of the youth in contemporary society…
Shiraz: yes, the youth is deteriorating
Shiraz: nevermind angel..its ok. Don’t try.You’ll hurt yourself.
Jo: Noorie!! Look this way..ok hi viewers, right now im doing the cooking insert…im better than lamees! So im gonna show you how to make mutton curry..
Waseem: you sure you got me in the frame too?
Mj: CUT!! %&$#!!!!!!!!
Everybody suddenly fell silent.
Mj: oh that was on air..er…
Q: um you know we didn’t do the surprise yet!! Ok ok, everybody on dstv, id like to send a dedication to Shiraz to wish him happy birthday and we’d like to surprise him with this number we’ve been working on the whole week…
Everybody (with dance moves) ‘Apple bottom jeeeeeeeans…boots with the furrrrrr…’
For some reason this bloggie isn’t allowing me to post a pic. While the subtle avoidance of posting anything readable has become a comforting way of flying under the radar due to a) having much more important real life interaction to worry about words on a screen and b) not having the energy to broadcast incidences in my life to people, i must admit that i miss the writing. And yes, i could have written something on a lil blank page and folded it up and put it away, but i couldn’t find a page. My bag is all the way over there...
Somebody important said to me yesterday, that he doesn’t see why everybody has to have and opinion every time. Recently my mind has resembled a sieve..but those words stuck in my head. And he’s right. Sometimes people just say things to have a word in, but it really doesn’t mean anything. Sometimes no matter how you feel or what you think, people are going to do or say whatever they want to. People will be selfish, whore around or just basically be there for you when they have something to gain – except those who really mean something. And those are few and far between anyway. So yes, silence is golden and words will find whoever is worthy of them.
And i”m not saying go on and ignore people, but if you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say it at all. Though we’ve all been guilty of talking crap about others, nothing matters in the end. Opinions don’t matter – its the actions that do. And if you can justify yours and I can justify mine, we’re not living our lives for each other, so let people be. It’s different when opinions from valued people are asked for...but five years down the line, some things just won’t hold any weight.
It’s really quite something to see whose there for you when something bad happens – like recently. And I know that overall, it turned out well, but I still have this residual anger that comes from thinking where the hell some people were when I needed them and why my friends came through more than my some of my family cared to. I get that friends are the family we choose in life...but when it comes down to it, if they weren’t there, I really wouldn’t have known better. If it weren’t for you...who stayed up with me when I was too sad to sleep and you who made me laugh when I didn’t think I could. And you who to me, are my family.
So now its being asked why my independence has pushed me to isolate myself or take on things on my own and not ask for help or opinions on the way things should be. Well I don’t feel like I need to, because I’ve gotten this far without conforming. And I will do what I think I need to, to make myself feel ok again. I don’t need you to tell me it will be ok – you haven’t all along... and when you tell me the way things should be done, you can guarantee ill have my earphones on. But at the end of the day, I will smile, be respectful and include you in my moments of joy..because may someday I could find a way to forgive you.
So Q was walking through the grape fields of Australia all alone one fateful Thursday night…all the while wishing that some sign would appear before her to let her know that she would find somebody so patient, loving and cute that she would wake up smiling every morning. Suddenly, a sign popped up in front of her…but no, it did not register. ‘wow,’ she thought, ‘that’s a pretty name for a wine.’ And she kept walking. Blonde as she sometimes was after 8pm, the sign she saw did not remind her of a sign she asked for. Somebody Up There had finally had enough. And the real Shiraz came hurtling down from the heavens (aasman se aaya) toward Q in a shower of meteors (I know, this is where it gets original). And he was all ‘what the hell!’ and Q was all. ‘whoa..this seems familiar somehow.’ And with his latent powers that manifested themselves at this moment…he ripped open his…his…bag! And in it, was this blue and red cape thingy (which was totally not gay) and it had his initial on it! An ‘S!’ then he told her, that he was sent from Jannat to bring me this shiny green rock and also, some jelebi (my Jannat ke jelebi).
Yeah. That’s how we met ;)
And I get drunk on happiness called Shiraz everyday…
nuance. that word sounding strange? maybe i saying it too much. like when you say reunion. or spell it - its a little weird. niki and i had this conversation the other day. speaking of whom, i gonna see today. yay!! hope she didnt get arrested foe blinding the pet shrimp Lewis, in the science department by taking pics of him...poor thing. like Shiraz blinding the turtle at Ushaka ;)
come to think of it, my friends share this liking for turtles...cant understand it, but it works for me gifts wise...anyway. ugh..i feeling a lil queasy...this exam thing doesnt work for me coz im in a small class and supervisors expect alot. i have never needed a holiday like i need this one. and i ned to see planes. as in the airshow... which i can never get enough of. i just wnat these butterflies in my tummy to like take a breather so i can make sense just now and wax lyrical about the joys of sampling techniques.
by the way- winter's officially here! bring out the boots and scarves and warm bear hugs :)
if there's one thing that irks me more than group projects, bad hair days and pushy people, its people who smoke. while my bus adventures allow my tolerance ot extend to handling smelly people who have no control over there inquisitive elbows and will go out of their way to invade your space or god forbid strike up a bright summery converstation with you on a day when all you want to do is slap everyone around with a cricket bat, my days have now been additionally seasoned by a good dose of smoke. see, at the bus stop, there's this afrikaner ladt with a shock of blonde hair followed by an undertone of black. and she's usually draped in a cloud of smoke and happily casts the smoke upon missQ. all the waving away off the smoke and the angry 'ahems' in the world dont seem to get her attention as she insists she teaches the security guard nearby afrikaans. yeah, every flipping morning, i emerge out of the smoke to maniacally wave the bus down and ever so often, the driver misses me and there i am again -left to inhale. freaking idiot. no - freaking idiots who smoke. and why on earth do some people think its cool to have this thing attached to your mouth that billows out smoke and makes you smell like last months' lasagne. and! discolours your teeth and makes your lungs all blacks and gross. and then, you go and impose this shit on innocent people like us who arent aiming for an early departure. yeah - so to all the smokers - go screw yourself.
The thing about taking public transport, is that people automatically assume that you’re independent – which I am (some people will vouch for my stubbornness). But independence will only take you so far in this world…in my case it got me to town and left me stranded there on the one day our darling bus drivers decided to have a strike. In Niki’s case, it got her back where she started – home. Thanks to my white knight, I managed to get to my destination, albeit full of rage and looking like I could stomp on all the pretty flowers here and then drive over em with a tractor. yeah. But really, independence can function on its own on this planet- you’re always going to have to depend on something like the idiotic transport system. So no – taking the bus doesn’t mean you’re all independent – it means that hey, if the bus doesn’t come, im screwed. Royally. And if it rains- yeah, that’s right – screwed again! And people that don’t take buses will go and schedule meetings exactly when you need to leave or keep talking while you look at your watch and you know the bus has left without you. Then they’ll shut up after 5 minutes and you have to waste another half and hour of your life waiting for the next one. And I don’t like asking for help, I never have, but thankfully my knight is as stubborn as I am. Its just that while the bus is cool and you meet lotsa people…fade out to when Niki met Q…
Niki: hi, are you taking the campus bus? (she was thinking..great! fresh meat! I bet she’s first year.poor thing doesn’t know what’s gonna hit her)
Q: um.yeah. Hey weren’t you in my primary school? (I better be this girlie’s friend. She can wave the bus down for us)
Niki: Omg!! Yeah I was…(crap..now this chick is gonna keep talking. And I’ll probably have to wave the bus down)
We had a hiatus for about a year..and then we were reunited at the bus stop again when we both had gained a considerable amount of fashion sense and then we were ready to commit to a serious friendship ;) then we had the most amazing bus adventure where we took two buses just to go to this place for a slice of choc cake…in all, I think we took 5 buses that day. But it was worth it! Only a select view know that you cant ignore the call of chocolate cake. And shopping. There can never be enough shopping. Like the night before mother’s day..when the friends and I decided to take on Gateway and we ended up getting elbowed and I crushed some chick’s toes and we managed to get the last few of the most amazing gift right in front of other shoppers heading straight for it ;) it was madness. When there are only a few Afrikaans mother’s day cards left on the shelf, you know you’re too late. And Jo and I found cute London hats that I want to buy..i know I wont wear it often..but I need to know that its mine you know? Ahem…sounds like some other scenarios would fit the last sentence ;) yes, im pointing at you. Lol anyway…thankfully the buses are up and running and I don’t have to say all those bad words in my head again. And I can fully focus my thoughts on getting that yummy chicken shwarma and chips and coke if I get through this day awake…see? You must always incentivize.
and to my angel who makes me feel like its my birthday every day....you're my happy pillumm...and i baked these for you
coz you make life beautiful....
There is something sinister about fairs. And I don’t mean the usual run of the mill fun fair chocfull of creepy clowns and crying kids – I mean Muslim fairs. And we wont mention names, but the one held this weekend had its fair share of weirdness and seemed to bring out the daredevil shopper in each visitor and summoned up the youth in some old women who elbowed their way to the bargains. The same fair the night before though, was calm and void of all signs that it would bring about the consumer crusade it did the next day, when all items gleamed in the daylight and people could see where they were going, spotting bargains a mile away and rushing through the crowd in some manouevres only rugby players would be proud of. And then you get the shielded warriors, the pardah aunties who will use their anonymity as a way to push through – not forgetting those using prams as weapons to block your path t the bargain you’ve spotted three miles away and threaten all hopes of ever reaching the destination. Yesterday was no exception, when MissQ was trying on a cloak and this old lady pushed past and said, ‘you taking that?’ and I was like,er..i don’t know yet,’ looking at the lady who obviously would not fit all parts of her into it at the same time. And I did take it, which brought out the savage in her and she gruntled away. And then azaan went and I spotted my bargain while all these ladies stopped to out their scarves on, I struck! And found the cutest cloak. Since it was the last day of the fair and the plummeting prices threatened to unleash a new onset of shopping euphoria and a good dose of rage, I left before it could escalate. But it just makes me wonder – for all the Muslimness we try to exhibit to non-Muslims and the holier than thou attitudes we wear around like coats of armour, when we’re all together this seems to give way to another dimension (which squishes people). Really though. How odd is it to see people dressed all holy and peaceful looking and there they go, pummeling into the crowd reminiscent of the some angry warthogs. And yes, we do think we’re better than others – I don’t know when or why we started thinking that way, but maybe it’s the whole money thing. And we think we have a right to act these ways when we think nobody’s looking. And it’s more than pushing people around at fairs…its deeper, it’s about morals and pushing your way through life. And often if there’s a Muslim pharmacist or doctor consulting with patients, a Muslim patient that came last will cut through and use Salaam as a way of saying. ‘Hey, im your sister/brother and we’re connected through this religion so serve me first.’ Don’t get me wrong…im not embarrassed to be Muslim, neither am I saying that everyone is like this. All im saying is that somewhere, we lost the plot.
It was Waseem the Great’s birthday and all the land waited in anticipation for the Great to awaken to see his 25th year and bless then with yet another year of immense greatness. In Seemland, things always went according to plan..except on this fateful April 16th…when Eskom did not receive an invitation due to the demerit system in Seemland…the Great’s peasant friends, Q, Niki, Mj and Jo and of course, the Great’s Good brother, Shiraz (who engaged most of his time in shopping and wrapping gifts in a very macho and manly way in his white shirt), decided that this year would be a birthday the Great would never forget…where sparkliness reigned supreme and laughter filled the streets and every store in town had sales of teal clothing.
Niki: hey! Like. Stop sprinkling all that glitter and butter salt around – it getting into my ghd’d hair.
Shiraz: mine too.
Q: sorry for breathing.
Meanwhile, on the other end of Seemland, mj was on his black horse, Tata, going to fetch Joe. Now on Joe’s end of the world, Escapade, there were some wild animals – which Mj was wary of (in a statistical way of course) but today was different…
‘Hmm’ Joe thought as she slid the cupcakes into the oven, ‘I wonder what’s keeping MJ..’
If she only knew…that the blinking traffic lights had blinded Mj’s trusty steed and had flung him from its rear straight into the euphoria of the centre of the land the wild animals inhabited. With this new being which had obviously descended from heaven (or hell considering what his t-shirt said), they ordained him as their master (because he had masters degree). To his surprise he realized they had also been preparing for the Great’s feast and had taken the celebrations to a new level, using the flashing malfunctioning traffic light as their disco ball and making Mj reenact his great descent over and over. Jo however, was unaware of the drama (coz she was only used to a high standard of theatre like Font) and as she woke up to the sounds of ambulances every morning, the commotion was nothing out of the ordinary and she continued folding and popping out her 3 million origami stars– besides, she lived with the Great AK, so she had nothing to worry about.
Back at the Great’s palace, Q was draping fairy lights, Shiraz was wrapping gifts and writing very emotional cards..and Niki was decorating her Tom Welling shrine while conducting an experiment about the DNA of Q’s fishies as they suspiciously resembled Saif Ali Khan…
Q: ummm…its 3am, can’t we take a nap before the Great wakes up? Im tired. I didn’t nap today – and I took 7 buses and…I had mince for lunch. What a bad day.
Shiraz: no, Im already late for work. (his schedule had been totally screwed by the load shedding schedule and now supper was at lunch, breakfast was at supper and lunch was at breakfast..and 7de laan was still at 6.30pm. At this point, nobody really knew what time he started).
Niki: like.hello? It’s the Great’s birthday duh- it’s a public holiday. Now Q? when did you last see saif?
Q: umm..hey! I can say big words….floxinoxi…something
It was then that all the lights in Seemland went out, leaving the entire town in darkness (except for Q’s tiara which twinkled like the stars and a few lucky peasants who had sold their souls for cell phones). One of them was Mj, who bought a weapon of a phone, which he used to thunk the over elated monkeys on the head and escape. However, it was his unfortunate fate to jump into an Escapade elevator – which was occupied by AK whose curiosity was piqued by the noise after 3 hours.
AK: ‘Oh, Mj its you – you know who I am!! AK!’
MJ: ‘Really? You don’t say – sign my chest.’
In that very odd predicament, load shedding intervened and there they were..stuck.
‘#8!@!!!!’ they both said.
‘you wanna hear a joke?’ said Ak
After about 10 minutes… ‘no’ said Mj..
Another 45 minutes went by…and Mj changed his mind.
Upstairs, Jo was really worried now – the origami stars were not popping the way they should have…and somehow she sensed that something had happened, but she couldn’t put her finger on what it was..and then it hit her.
‘Your mother!!!’ she screamed, running to the kitchen to rescue the cupcakes, which she had forgotten about.
‘Ya Allah! Thank gawd for load shedding!’ as she contemplated the horror of her darling cupcakes being burnt and shuddered for 2.5 seconds until she heard a stifled scream coming from the lift amid the excitable rendition of ‘Dekho! Dekho!’ and figured that MJ and AK were stuck.together. After frantically drinking some tea and dialing Q’s number, Jo assured Mj and AK that help was on the way.
While Q and Shiraz rushed to save the world from the combined forces of MJ and AK, Niki decided to stay home and finish the experiment (but we all knew she wanted to spend her time ceremoniously circumnavigating the Welling Shrine with scented candles). As fate would have it, Q and Shiraz were pulled over by a very angry cop who was no doubt having the worst day of his life. All the pleading and flashing (thanks to Q) couldn’t have saved them from the hefty fine imposed on this dark night just two seconds away from Joe’s building. But when Shiraz got back in the car…Q was nowhere to be seen.
‘What the hell!’ he exclaimed!
He looked for her in the cubby, under the seat and finally in the cup holder, but he just could not find her. Suddenly a wild inhabitant rushed out of the tree and grabbed him and reunited him with Q, who was proclaimed Queen of Escapade (because she had a tiara) and they promptly named him King – because he had great hair (some opinions in life are universal). It was fun at first, but they soon realized that with the lack of necessities such as a ghd or jewelry, this place was just not working for them. After much struggle and running around, a compromise was reached and they bartered a lock of hair for their freedom.
What many in Seemland did not know, was the special powers a certain trio possessed. The ‘Powder-puff’ powers which included Shiraz aka Buttercup, Q aka Blossom and Niki aka Bubbles, were struck by lightening one fateful night and received the powers of bubblewrap – flexibility, invisibility and the power to pop things. And of course, the package came with standard garden variety flying powers which often didn’t have such great results. Soon AK and MJ were rescued from the tortured elevator and Mj rushed into sajdah position and proclaimed his gratitude repeatedly until he developed pins and needles. Shiraz flew up to Jo’s balcony, not surprised to see her once again on the ledge, battling with the urge to take a leap, and brought her back down to earth.
“Wow! Shiraz, you’re so strong!’ squealed a hoard of 352 sparkly teenage girls who had gathered to watch his display of strength.
Soon enough, Q donned her invisibility powers and popped the few braincells they had.
With all in tow, they found Tata, who had been pimped and souped up by the wild inhabitants and who now had a mini dvd player, blinged out hooves and some hectic dreads and blinkers with a tattoo on the back saying ‘glayer.’ On arrival at the Great palace just in time for the Great to wake up, they sensed a certain scent in the air…a dangerous one.
Q: does somebody smell Juicy Lucy food?
Mj: no, their food has no smell. Or taste.
Joe: it smells like when you over-ghd your hair..
Shiraz (whose electronic engineering education was certainly starting to pay off): oh my god!! Something’s burning! And it can’t be electrical coz its load shedding time! There must be fire!’
And they rushed to find Niki, who had been affected by all the exchange of Powder-puff power by Q and Shiraz and while peacefully gazing at Tom, experienced a surge in power and the candle exploded, setting Tom and all his paraphernalia on fire. Amid the flames, there was Niki, holding on and trying to salvage the remaining items of clothing she had ‘borrowed’ from Tom’s dressing room.
Q: omg Niki!! (secretly she was hoping Niki’s dna test results were fried as well, to eliminate the chilling evidence that she had indeed done the deed with saif).
Mj: save the lana picture niki!!
Jo: wait! Stop! I wana put sprinkles in the candle wax- it’ll look pretty.
Shiraz: ooh you can do that? That’s so cool!
With all the exclamations and bashing into glass vases in the dark, the Great awoke at 3.05am (yes, all this took 5 minutes- time stands still in Seemland and there are enough places to chat in).
The Great (looking at Niki’s hair which was kinda crackling but it still looked good): hey, what happened here?
Mj: we be burning.
Q: yeah, it just went from AM to PM
Niki: its 4 in the morning
Mj: I like when girls kiss girls
MJ: sorry seems to be the hardest word
Niki: its too late to apologize.
Jo: wait – Im turning my lovelight on…
Shiraz: Q? where’d you go? I miss you so..seems like its been forever since you’ve been gone…
Q: baby when the lights go out…I hear you calling…
Shiraz: we’ll get lost together, till the light comes pouring through.
Silence followed for like 6 seconds…(they were waiting for the light to come pouring through)
Mj: paan rocks…oh hey! Happy birthday Waseem!!
Q: oh right yeah! That’s why we’re here! SURPRISE!
Shiraz (hugs waseem) *sniff happy birthday my favorite brother in the world.
Niki: Tom..is Tom ok?
Jo: never mind the load shedding- we’re all here together, that’s all that matters…
The Great: Baby, its fact.
;) ok this is soo weird. im sitting next to this girly that looks just like joe...and i bet she thinks im extremely strange coz i keep looking at her...now if only i could find some kinda diversion...then i could snap a quick pic and blog it...the only diversion would be to scream 'fiyyyeh!! bring the waateh!' but then i think i'd have to leave..in handcuffs. i was watching music videos on mute last night, watching alicia keys bang that keyboard in silence makes her looks like she's having a seizure by the way...and then leona lewis popped up and it just struck me that almost every up and coming artist has that whole melancholy, 'im lying here like a broken soul' look going for them. and somehow, that broken doll thing has become cool. i mean, which artist smiles on their album cover except them afrikaaner treffers and country music simon and garfunkel folks...there's a difference between looking sexy and looking sad like somebody stole your organs while you were sleeping..or ate your cadbury choc muffin before you got home...
look at this album cover
see? she not looking sexy..she looks like she fell down those stairs behind her and didnt clean her house for a while..and she just very unhappy.secondly..its my december, not hers. depressed people are going to identify with this, buy the cd and get more depressed, raising the suicide rate. in december. next!
my angel, michael. he is not happy..he is in fact, constipated. his mxit status would be grumpy at this point. be he is forgiven, since i had not breezed into his life at this time. then you get the other extreme: exhibit 3:
our very own, home grown hunk-a-burning yum...blackie swart - who by the way has just eaten a huge steak and is extremely happy to be here against the bright yellow, with his trusty guitar and his 40 variations of the same song. go blackie!! but im afraid sales wont be great..coz nobody likes that one person with a happy mxit presence, no.
so finally, when i entered micheal's life, we found a middle gorund. behold! the perfect album cover pic..just the right amount of yumminess to make happy people happier and sad people smile..which is why my angel is sooo successful (my cooking has something to do with it too).
of course, i am the inspiration behind the tracks :) in this pic, i have just tickled him and he is now thinking about how lucky he is...his mxit presence would be in lurv.so cute!! so the whole 'im going to die wihtout your love' look jst doesnt work for me. i mean, get real man, you're making loads of money, look a little happier! and do yourself a favour and eat a burger before you get more anorexic. i like that guy who won Britain's got talent - he doesnt fit the mould of being this young, cool popstar, but he rocks! and he was a cellphone salesman...his response to the stardom is a big smile and 'yeah, this is bonkers!' you wouldnt find Robbie being all humble like that (sorry joe).
Our dear Dollop was sitting in his car (green one as you can see) when my initials pulled up beside him ;) and yes…I will admit, I make bread. Quality bread. Which is why im so busy that I cant reply to some messages and sometimes I cant go out on Saturday nights – its coz of the bread. And no, I don’t know why the price of bread is so high. All I know is that people are paying for my initials. Branding I think its called.
Speaking of branding, missQ went to a late movie at Suncoast – my god, if you want to see branding, just take a breeze through amid the swarm of jhb holiday makers…erm, but I’ll admit I had my own Roxy theme going ;) was that an evening to remember…my little cousin walked out of the games area at way past midnight, looked at me and echoed many of the sentiments of some weary gamblers – ‘Q, im bankrupt now’ lol, she is too cute. Try venturing into a ladies bathroom during an interval – nobody warned me. I got squished in line between an old lady in the front and this young, almost too friendly chick behind me. This girlie also had no idea of personal space, which for someone with a double D, needs to stop traumatizing ppl like me. Anyway, so the old lady in front of me somehow stepped on my toe…and she turns around and says, oh, so sorry bheti – I’m diabetic.’ I didn’t know whether to say its ok for killing my toe, or say im sorry that you’re ill. So I just made friends.
There’s something about waiting in line to use the loo that makes it gross. Maybe its that thought that there are more germs around, or that everybody knows that you’re there to..do your business. It just makes me want to flush myself to Singapore. And then I look around and think…hey that lady didn’t wash her hands- she cant be too clean in the loo…and then I get all panicky and fidgety like Monk. And then you have those lil kids that prance outa the loo. God knows what they left in there. Ladies bathrooms are not very ladylike. Even that hand drier thing. You have to touch to get it to start. Ew. But those new sensor things are cool. Even the sensor taps that jhb international airport..OR tambo, has. They get me all excited. In high school, we had pink and purple bathrooms for the girls. And people used to write things on the wall like the hottest guys this month or things like ‘Look up!’ And on the ceiling somebody wrote ‘haha, made you look, I can see what you’re doing.’ Funny now, but back then I was the new kid and it freaked me out! Made for some interesting reading, but our loos weren’t as cool as the guys who had white and black bathrooms. I don’t know what went on in there; maybe juju or nazeer can elaborate. There are rules to being in a ladies bathroom. Firstly, you don’t look at the person next to you in the mirror, no matter how much her funky hair or cleavage is demanding the attention. Also, don’t talk to people you don’t know. Just smile gracefully, like ‘yeah, my deposit is made of gold- in your face.’ The last thing you want to do is become best friends and have her say at wedding – ‘I met her in the loo’ although, I have made some friends in the bathroom…one of whom had locked herself in the cubicle by accident, and of course, the Suncoast lady. Also, don’t twirl around in the full length mirror. I did that once and people walked in and I just stopped in mid-twirl and rushed off and I could still hear em giggling. Omg. And please, make sure you are actually walking into the ladies room – not the men’s room. We wont mention any past incidents about that. I have erased them for my mental health.
Q is happy J very happy…what more does a girl need than a buttercup and some fresh air…
im trying to post a pic. of choc chip muffins...but this blog thing is screwed up. anyway. i wish choc muffins upon all of you..and an amazing long weekend. try not to break anything, crash anything, steal anything, hurt anything, swear anything, kill anyone, run over anyone, slap anyone, throw things (unless you have good reason) burn anything, hit anything, stab yourself, slit your ankles, poison yourself, and please. dont forget to moisturise.
its funny how some people,
can tell you one thing, then do another,
knowing it would hurt you and
turn around and be public about it.
but i guess double standards
come with not having a conscience.
sad little immoral attention seeker.
today is very sad day...my lil fishy bob has passed on. we will have a day of mourning. orbituaries and poems are welcome...
Right? Say yes!
As for this weekend…now that was an adventure in itself. The aunts came home for weekend. Flip, it was like I was in Prison Break. My phone got inspected, my room got examined, everytime I coughed I got that look that says – you cough again and im attacking you with Vicks, my clothes got xrayed and my cute lil fishies ot interrogated. And my poor mummy just got tired. All I remember was cooking. A lot.
Q endorses Juno by the way – oh and heaven icecream, choc brownie flavour.
Anyway, back to personal space- some people just have no grasp of what it means. I used to have this friend in school and she used to hit me lol, like everytime she made a joke and laughed, I used to get a slap on the arm or thigh. And hard! I think it was coz she had so many brothers, that she got all butch. As for me, I was all feminine and sensitive – and bruised. Somehow I managed to distance myself. Then there are those people who always want to hug – or overdo the mwah thing. Especially guys. Ew. For Q to hug somebody, it takes at least a year to graduate from the outer circumference of the personal space into the next circle etc. u cant just bypass the circumference ok!! There’s a system. And when it comes to sharing drinks with people – there’s another system, but that’s a whole different blog post ;) as for the ‘getting touchy in public people,’ please get a room. I don’t feel like being nauseous. Your bf isn’t going to run away if you don’t pin him down to earth by sitting on his lap – he will not go off in another direction if you stop hanging onto him – you aren’t a magnet. Don’t get me wrong, I love people, just stay on your side of the line, and we be ok, I promise ;)
yay :) the marbles pic is in! this morning was such a blonde morning for missQ. my sandal fell off while i was getting on the bus..and then when i eventually did get on, this faaaaat dude stepped on my toes ;( ow. i just feel like im not going to get through this day without being scratched or stomped or poked. calamity jane. but really, its not my fault. i have those days alot...you know when you're walking in a mall, or in town and people just seems to get in your way - or rather, you seem to be in everyone's way and you're like 'whats wrong with me! im a hazard to society!' and then you just decide to go home before you run over a small quiet kid. im bad wth crossing roads to..they should have anonymous meetings called 'Nervous Crossers' and we'd have meetings. and they'd be right around the corner, so I wouldnt have to cross the road to get there. or better yet, the therapist would come home ;) the only thing getting me across the road is the thought of that perfect lil choc donut waiting for me at Spar.
although sometimes i do have my rebellious brave moments where im like, bring it on! you know? and i cross with confidence. anyway, im hungover. saturday night rocked...i learnt how to play pool. let me first say that that cue (or the Q as mj puts it) was dam heavy! i mean its a stick, but its heavy! its like my height. which made me insecure, but i overlooked that and managed to get like 3 balls in the hole thingy (2 of which were the white one). and then i got half drenched in rain..and then i realised my lovely white sandal broke on the side ;( see? i have horrible luck wth sandals...but i realised my passion!! found my calling! that bin game where you throw the ball in as fast as you can ;) we went a bit crazy over that. by me, i mean me.and raeesa. its good for releasing rage etc. totally better than therapy.
missQ has to go to seminar now. with 3 people in it, there's no way i can fall asleep ;(
loads of hugs and blue smarties...
this dam *** blog isnt letting me post a pic!! or choose text colour ;( and i have such a pwetty pic to post ;( and this ***** blog NOT HELPING ME!!!!!!!!!!!
now the writing's gonna be all sick green looking and not clean and white and this post is gonna be bland without a pic. dam technology.
there's alot going on right now. like take Jane for example. there's jack, who doesnt give a shit about her, yet she keeps running after him and bashing into the rock wall that is his stone cold heart, while Jake on the other hand, is running after her- but she doesnt care. and then Q has to sit and help out the situation and try not to kill herself while ingesting all this whiney nonsense. im like, yes, we've all been there, but dont make this my problem. i have my own pretty lil issues to sort out.
oh and to the cute lil people who mailed me and messaged me that they're glad im back, fank you ;) you make Q smile like an ecstatic yellow smiley. by the way, i decided to break the shopping drought yesterday and guess what - i found nothing. absolutely nothing i liked. and i was itching to spend money, so i spent it on food ;) (which i couldnt finish - whch means something's wrong with me, but we deal with that later).
flip man! the pic i was gonna post was so cute. so yesterday my friend pulls out a marble from my pencil case that i forgot was there. good friend gave it to me, and it was like one of those moments where you realise, that hey, this person is still one of my best friends and even though life can get hectic, they'll be there to send you an sms that'll make you laugh out loud or give a beeg hug when you feel like the world isnt working for you...or! give you a marble when they know you've lost yours ;)
ok, i have another meeting to get to. and i swear by the chicken shwarma from wrap it up! that i will get the text colour changed and get the pic posted!!
A blank sheet, begging to be written on, drawn on, or at least crumpled up and thrown away. for a brief moment, a dance with a rush of air and a rapid descent into the darkness…met with a new texture, a new fear, and the weight of the expectation to do something great lifted off burdened corners. Who ever thought we would amount to this much nothingness…who ever thought out loud with a hint of predictive humour that this would be where our footsteps would lie. Here. Today. And if somebody had never taken this leap of faith and trusted in the intriguing mystery of the path that called, this today would be different. And who knows where the descent would have lead. Well. I guess now we will never know. And comfortingly so. Yet the new comfort comes with new fears and the bottom is an illusion of booby-trapped tiles that beg to be danced on. I will never know if I don’t try..and that is the way the world creaks and rumbles on, on its axis, unaware of the risks, the ascents and descents that it contains. Everyday a new hope, a loss, a confusion, a clarity and the constant hum of people packing up their lives and venturing onto a new track.
Would you miss what you left behind I wonder…even though you don’t know its here.
There must be some magnetic force that draws you onto the path of a speeding train even though you know you’ll lose yourself. Yet. Don’t we all hope to be proven wrong? Waiting. For some ‘thing’ to stop the earth from turning for 30 seconds so things can fall into place, and get it spinning again. Craving. For that rush of air…knowing the descent is ahead, and hoping to be proved wrong. And yet, sometimes we are proven wrong. At the times we least expect, from the sources we least expect; and you are able to trust the things you always doubted. And yes, I would miss it even though I don’t know that its here. It’s the fleeting glance of it that brings me back every time, taking the same path, hoping to see the reflection on the piece of glass being held up to the light.
missQ is wearing the sunshine top today.. ahem ahem.hint hint to the rocking person who bought it for her ;) im so hungry. i've been dying for this chicken shwarma and huge serving of chips with mayo and chili from wrap it up.but nobody seems to understand!!! i need it. like i need to live you know?
ugh. group projects again this year..this time i cant seem to keep the bitchiness in.
oWWW! this dude across me just kicked me under the table..flip. he doesnt care. i bet he's downloading 'corn' as we speak! yeah, so i been thinking...and drawing..and thinking some more...what's better? avoiding or confrontation..coz im in whatever mode and apparently i shouldnt be. but its working for me right now. im all chilled like. lark im sow chilled dude...its lark totally narce..everythings all waat and blue china...
k enough. crap man! this guys feets are so damn huge, i cant sit. basket!
me have to run off to seminar.yay me ;(
if i dont post by thursday..lemme just say HAPPY BIRTHDAY NIKKI!! love you loads my lil aloo!
elo all yous goods peoples :)
yeah. ok i trying to force myself to be in a good mood so i can wake up....and i have crappy meeting at 9am ;( oh well.
ew. i think somebody next to me let one go...a very beeg one.
im so forgetful today!! me almost forgot to press the bell thingy on the bus this morning when it got near my stop. almost landed up very fay from where i supposed to be...and then i forgot some other stuff i cant remember now. and no, im not getting old, i just tired.
ooh, A1 this weekend!!! yaaay!! it soo cool to hear the cars in the morning.
ok. i too tired to type.
ps. if you draw or knows anyone who draws political cartoons, or wants to write artcles for a newsletter, let me know...
This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move, I'm shakin off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel... And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead
Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be,
oh Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can u see what I see
They're tryin to come back,
all my senses push Un-tie the weight bags,
I never thought I could...
Steady feet, don't fail me now
Gonna run till you can't walk
But something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down...
Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be,
oh Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there A
nd you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, you don't need What u need, what u need...
Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do u see what I see...
i got squished on the bus this morning...it seems like i attract these 'healthy' people, coz im sitting there, sleeping with my eyes open in the hope that this bus will take me to anywhere beautiful, except campus, when im jolted awake by somefatbody's thigh or elbow half on top of me. i mean, there's a whole lota space at the back, but no, they will choose to sit next to the small girlie in the front, who by the end of the trip, will have practically become one with the window.
yeah, that happened to me agin this morning...this beeeg chick came and shoved her way into my area, with a big checkers packet and a lunchbox in it which she obviously favoured over me, coz she held it up in my face like it was some kryptonite medal. eish. and then i go and volunteer to work instead of staying home. so here i am.
but yesterday, the cutest thing happened on the bus. niki and Q were on their way home. this guy was sitting in front of us, and in front of him, was this gal. after a while, he takes out a piece of paper, writes something on it, taps her on the shoulder, and gives it to her. she writes something back...and a few minutes later, he goes and sits next to her and they start talking :D and niki and Q were like 'awwww..thats so sweeeet!' valentine miracle hehe..
gawd. i am so sleepy...and this morning it was sunny and then it got rainy in 2 minutes and it confused me...and i got frowny. and now i have a headache. and im worrying about something that i shouldnt be worrying about. which is silly on my part really. but i think worrying is my thing. and baking.
pink happiness all around.
The rest of the holiday rocked though..family weddings were the bestest!! We haven’t had close family weddings in a while, and being part of it all just went beyond my expectations. The laudium wedding was so beautiful…it was held in this hall which opened up onto a garden..and my cousin got his and his bride’s names put onto the number plate. too sweet. As for the wedding in dbn, that was like a mafia wedding lol! Black merc parade. But it was stunning just as well.
I need another holiday! Its weird being back on campus. This year, it’s a whole new realm. I a lil bit worried. But its soooo cool having a degree. And then! When they stamp your student card and it says post grad. Yay. At registration, some butch Indian chick came up to my friend and I. She says, ‘ay, you people in fest yeh?’ and we were like, ‘No..we’re in POST GRAD’ hehe!! Its like the guy you’ve liked for 3years who never noticed you, coming up to and asking you out…and then you’re like. ‘no.’ :D in your face! Ok ok..maybe not as thrilling, but it rocks, and it took me a while to get here, after taking like 10 subjects in 1st and 2nd year coz I didn’t know which direction I was headed in. I’m excited about tutoring..ooh, the power of a marking pencil!!
If you’re wondering if im on a sugar high right now…10 points! For some reason I’ve been living off lindt and ferero’s and tumbles recently. Works for me though.
Anyway, im off to attack that chicken and roti thing Dew made me addicted to. Oh, happy Wellington’s Day ppl! @---,--‘
Pink happiness all around ;)
ShoutMix chat widget