11:58 PM

popping corn

Q had intelligent conversation last night :D yay! Just when I thought it didn’t exist..just when the dumb sentences and questions from select few were threatening to cage me into the world of people who don’t get it…I was rescued!!! So, to celebrate, I will spoil myself with copious amounts of milktart and a hiatus from weird people who just don’t get the hint ;) I feel I need to confess something that only I know about and even though im close to my friends, I have never said divulged this information. Some of you may be silenced by shock..others may walk away screaming, ‘why didn’t you tell me this before!’ and others may just send sms’s saying ‘I don’t think I can be associated with you anymore.’ But I need to say this…here goes.

Im wearing a broken shoe.

There. Its out there. And I might add that the said shoe is the flat biscuit shoe. So named by Dew, as it looks like memon biscuits with dusty gold beads on it. And I just cant afford to not match my shoes with my choc milkshake and copper attire today, so Q, the lady, wore the broken shoe. And the broken-ness is concealed, but lets just say that if it rains, im screwed ;) coz right now the breeze from the aircon is turning my baby toe blue. But fashion before comfort I always say :D so yeah, if you cant handle being friends with broken shoe girlie, then…gimme back my hugs and smiles in a cardboard box ;)

there are beans jumping around in my head. I think it’s the remnants of the field trip to Warwick (pronounced war-Rick, please, don’t say ‘Waawick’ coz I’ll burn all your blue or silver belongings and dance around the fire). The trip was fun in a grassroots, roughing it out kinda way. Apart from the icky people who tried feeling us up, but hey, it’s the Durban experience ;) and I made friends with people. O.H, I hope you’re proud of me lol. And I trusted somebody to hold my water bottle for 3 seconds…and then we all held hands and crossed the road lol. Im excited. Spending the day here with a rocking friend of mine and we’re gonna like hang and chill and be totally phly homey! I stop now, im really bad at that. As you can tell.
Shame, im feeling a little bad. Just bumped into a friend who I deleted from Mxit. Its not that I stopped being interested in chatting to him, but he got a bit much, like he was tooooo excited ALL the time. I recall a conversation:
Him: so what you doing this holiday? Going north coast? South coast? Where you going?
Q: no, not going anywhere.
Him: ya? Why? You working? Im at the beach! Im lying on the sand!
Q: no, we’re redoing the kitchen
Him: ay that’s so lukker!! We bought a new stove!! :D :D :D

Q: that’s nice. See, he’s extremely sweet, but too overwhelming. Anyway, now he asks why im not on mxit and this lie just popped out ‘I deleted my mxit im so busy.’ Eish, the words just came out before I could haul them back. And he was all ‘oh shame and you mustn’t stress you know you’ll do well.’ So im feeling crappy. I’ll be over it in 5 minutes, after I eat the chicken roti chips thing for lunch..oooh…

about this chatbox thing..battle of the ego’s? its entertaining though. As long as its doesn’t get too offensive. And keep Q out of it. She has her own opinions. Popcorn. That’s what I want. With buttersalt

12:06 AM

shoes, burgers and the bridal suite

It has just come to light that MissQ is writing both her majors on the same day. Brilliantly timed end of year finale. And while im as stroppy about it as Rachel Ray without lasagne, im happily aware that in two days of exams, I’ll be done. Bang bang. Hmm..reminds me of yesterday when I almost got killed, but that’s another funny story im keeping for my grandkids. Anyhoo, went shopping for bling outfit for wedding and wow, did I find something bling. Managed to rustle up an audience as well! Now that was hilarious and totally cool. Its nice once in a while to let people fuss over you and try on things in a bridal suite with crystals and lights and wowness. And then I had the yummiest burger ever!! Q isn’t into red meat, but I craved a normal burger with the works. And I got it :D and I found mum cute shoes! And I bought more shoes for me!! SHOES SHOES!! In the absence of mxit, I managed to find the time to revel in the quiet joys of the weekend, and get a lot done. and yes, im giving you an account of my rocking weekend and you had better enjoy it, coz I managed to wing it like some multi-tasking princess, so give Q a big whoop for doing exactly what she and mom planned ;) and flights are booked and things are falling into place for later next month when I get to chill with family and friends I haven’t seen in ages. Anyway, I have a lecture to go to..my lecturer is incredibly cute ;) in a postmodern, x-factor YDE kind of way…but alas, these last few lectures must be difficult for him too…you know, saying goodbye lol. Have a stunningly free and unobtrusive day.

11:08 PM

the wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead

You know what I hate? Guys who think they rock, when they really don’t. And also, these ones that think they know the inner workings of your brain just coz they’ve read like 2 and a half books their entire lives. And before you think, damn, she’s writing about me, please- that’s your ego talking and if you think I bet this song is about you is about you, then please do humanity a favour and slit your ankles. Another thing I cant stand which has imposed itself so blatantly this morning are idiots who think its cool to be emotionless and judgmental. Insensitivity is the dead cat attached to your shoe- don’t drag it around, you only end up alienating yourself. And yes, I could have used a more decent analogy like rotten banana peels or toilet paper attached to your shoe, but since you know why my repressed memories have chosen to use ‘dead cat’ and what it represents in that little brain which only has space for you, go ahead and tell yourself whatever you want to hear. Coz it seems that no matter how nice I am to people, I still end up being made to feel like a ditzy blondie coz you need to feel all macho. If that helps you get through your day, yay for you- but don’t bring your insanity into my world. Of course its all wow to have an intelligent conversation with someone, but that doesn’t mean you have to label things and people and be just plain arsey. Im so sick of having to work so hard to be composed lil Q – coz at the end of the day, you think this is your stage and im supposed to applaud every witty comment (that’s what you think they are). For God’s sake, be real. Im not going to be all happy clappy and sparkly every day- and you aren’t either. And there’s nothing wrong with saying ‘I feel like shit and I need to talk.’ I cant handle the generic hello’s and how are you’s from pea-brained superheroes who only want to go on and on about their own lives and what a bad deal they got in life blah blah. Selfish baskets!

Just say something nice once in a while and it might make somebody feel pretty and make you seem like less of a dickhead. And something else. I don’t like hearing things from other people about the mean thing somebody said about me. If you need to say it, just call me and say it. At least that way, im not going to think you’re spineless hypocrite. But I guess we all say things we don’t want to get out and eventually they do. Nevermind. Use this for future reference, use it as toilet paper, I don’t care. If you can’t get your act together, don’t expect me to make way for you till you decide. Right…umm. What else…can’t think of anything else, except that don’t go back on your promises. And if you draw the line, draw it with a black permanent marker. We aren’t in high school and im not the girl who’s going to wait around till 11th period when you finally graduate from the school called life.

10:41 PM

Today's Greek chocolate lovenote says
'love me when i least deserve it...because that's when i'll need it most'

10:54 PM

the paradox of our times

The murder of Lucky Dube has captured the attention of most South Africans, albeit overshadowed by the Rugby this week, but the botched hijacking has undoubtedly created waves. In a crime-ridden country, somehow people react with shock, as if these homegrown heroes are immune to the disease that hangs over our heads everyday. Some have gone to the extent of collecting money, up to R50 per person to send to Dube’s family as to ‘assist them’ at this time of mourning. His murder has come at a time of extreme tension surrounding the government puts our president in a questionable light as to his hiring and firing tactics and the double standards that he proudly defends, making it ever so clear that nobody is safe. It has highlighted the height of crime – and that may be the one positive thing that has emerged from the incident. However, I find it strikingly unfair that ordinary citizens are overlooked in this regard and become statistics or temporary 10 line articles which demand little attention from police, while Dube’s case saw 15 officers working overtime to bring in suspects. What escalates the paradox here is the collection of money for his family. Of course this must be a period of devastation and grief, but surely they do not need monetary assistance compared to the scores of poor disadvantaged people or people who are gunned down everyday. What happens to their hospital or burial expenses? Don’t they require just as much state attention and funding for something that was no fault of theirs, but which they have to live with the rest of their lives? No doubt a Lucky Dube album’s release now would rake in the cash, so why not send a sympathy card instead of throwing cash where there’s cash already? The St Tropez murder yielded a similar reaction regarding media attention and the march against crime for S.A in England. As if the stats are not enough- and they seemingly aren’t, isn’t it sad that only when somebody well-known and well off is killed, does it reach the press and spark off an outcry? Don’t get me wrong, im not saying we shouldn’t react at all or be unsympathetic, but if violent crime is increasing, we should expect these things. At a time when SA is trying to generate investor confidence and international integration, Devils’ Advocate might pose the notion that if such murders of high profile people take place and they are highlighted to attract global attention, it could negatively impact on the economy via degrading perceptions of key players that could spur on SA’s progress in the international arena. That way, government would be compelled to actively enforce measures to lower the crime rate. Their objectives of halving unemployment and poverty may only minimally reduce crime in time for 2010, however, white collar crime may increase with businesses expanding and more people entering the formal economy. It seems our priorities are quite diverted when it comes to what gets attention in this country. And while we celebrate being champions of the world, I wonder how many soon-to-be statistics are fighting the battle to stay alive right now.

12:40 AM

stardust..featuring our very own cast who think they're acting in Run for your Life2

Mj: woyoh ay! One shooting star! You saw you saw!
Dew: whatkine? Im busy drinking my waateh, don’t act shell.
Mj: right sight you, im gwaing to catch it (this was what he was doing during itikaaf)

Guadian: where you think you vaiying eh? Don’t act like your faatheh, you khan go.
MJ: ay don’t dulla with me, hold me back! Hold me back!
(mj blinds the guard with his shiny gold tooth and gets through)

suddenly, he bashes into Jo.

Jo: ay wakkine? You khan see im walking yeh and my leg wonly paining and staying?
Mj: (ay lukker stekkie this one is) ay you urt yourself when you fell from eaven?
Jo: jus my luck, crash into wun dumb boy…where’s your car man? Ope you got spinners hudderwise im not vaiying with you.
Waseem comes rushing towards them perched on a unicorn: yewa I am! The saviour! Comeway this side Jo, I’ll take you buy the market, buy you wun cow.
Jo: eish, seriaas? No man, you wonly want me for my bling.goway.
Jo walks off on her own until she hears something in the trees behind her…
And Organ Harvester pops out!
Jo: oo you?
OH: Thumba’s nephew from topside. Donate one organ yeh. Gimme your art! Poke.
Jo: ayor!! Nooooo!! Save meeee….
Suddenly, MJ comes running towards her and hits OH on the head with a candle.
Jo: where you was hall this time?
Mj: sorry ma, I went by Nando’s. you know they gort halaal one this side of the waaal ay? Sor nice.
Jo: an you nevair bring for me and come too.
Mj: ay jus keep waaalking…
(to be continued…OR! Complete the story ;) )

1:25 AM

a sprinkling of stardust

lalala…stardust rocked majorly!! And no, its not a fag movie. And don’t believe all the nonsense about it in the papers. It just swept me beyond my expectations. SO GO WATCH IT! And if iv sounded a tad violent recently, its coz people you expect to protect you, don’t. that’s just the way it is and we need to accept that. There. Accepted and moving swiftly along. Had a weird experience with prawns last night. Somehow we ended up with a kg of imported Indian prawns. The kind that wear turbans and make their way down to your tummy nodding their heads and saying, ‘what is happening yaar? Im not liking this spiritual journey very much, wait, ill sing one Hindi tune- make heverything better.’ And MissQ who is mad about prawns, actually had an adverse reaction to them for the first time in her very adventurous and encyclopeadic life! See? Dodgy Indian-ness is in the water. Or waaateh rather ;) but somehow I don’t think it’ll ever put me off prawns. Omg. I had prawn Quiche once. Now that was the awesomest thing! But they took it off the menu..conspiracies I tell you! Anyway, is there a point?
Ah yes. hands off the burfi. Its mine.

11:59 PM

lets see how far we've come...

Fingers hesitant. To send or not to send? To post or not to post? The repercussions…the concertina rippling away in your head like the constant buzz of F1 cars racing to win the majority of your brain cells. Attention seeking buggers. But its Matchbox 20 that wins…

I believe it all is coming to an end
Oh well I guess we’re gonna pretend
Lets see how far we’ve come…lets see how far we’ve come

So was all the trouble worth it when you’re right back where you started? This time capsule you chronicle that you hope somebody will dig up one day and finally understand you…dont you think this cycle is enough? Isn’t it time you cut the strings pulling you back into the darkness? It all comes back to drawing the line. And a flash of someone’s smile might set off a thousand volts and at the same time fry your insides so that you no longer resemble yourself, but the cinders of the person that made you unique. Nobody’s worth that. Don’t you think sometimes you’re trying too hard to find something that’s not worth its weight in gold? don’t you think you deserve a whole lot more? Its like struggling to get on mxit and forgetting to watch Tyra on the day she actually fell off the couch. Falling. I fell down the stairs in primary school and got cut up like a drumstick waiting to be cooked. Hoping to soak in some sympathy from the boy I liked since the time I can remember liking somebody. He carried my bag and now he’s marrying some other girl. And no I cant even remember why I liked him, except that he was intelligent. Its intelligence that gets me..but somebody very insightful told me once that being broadminded is nothing. And im beginning to believe it. Nobody likes broad beans. They don’t know who they are and I bet they’re jealous of sugar beans. They know who they are.its the best they can do.koo. its dangerous to be all over the place. You never know which part of you’s gonna fall off if an 18 wheeler suddenly came charging towards you. Where did all the sane people go?

Everything fluctuates. If it didn’t, things would be boring, but I’d like a confirmation of sorts so as to assure me that im not chicken little and the sky isn’t falling and that these words im typing aren’t gong to pick up their luggage and walk off showing me the middle finger into the sunset. Orange. I saw enough orange on eid day and if that wasn’t jarring enough, my 5 little cousins came over and mentioned that the 3year old cuts holes in their couch with the kitchen knife and hides various pieces of cutlery and jewelry in the hole. That, along with the 2year old asking me if I wanted a slap for not showing her my phone was made me wonder if the memon mafia really does exist and if it does, can I disperse them throughout the country to hunt down people who need such ‘intervention’ to make em Q-friendly again. The midnight blue organza dress I got is totally Q friendly. It just depends on whether this wedding actually happens if history is anything to go by. History is the best predictor of future performance as Dr Phil’s perfectly polished brain and southern accent says. Which makes me a little worried, coz I seem to trip over the same step all the time. Literally. And maybe I haven’t come far in that respect, but I wont pretend to be something im not…and while I may be taking my time with deciding on the greater things which spell out my future, don’t expect me to play nice if other people accept your bipolar attitude and I don’t. I will push you away and not regret it. Coz I cant take the responsibility of your guilt after you’ve made it quite clear what you think of me ever since I can remember. There. Im packing up and driving away and you’ll probably only wake up when the world’s ending.

3:45 AM

for your entertainment only

Wow. Boy did I cringe last night…was looking through some old papers mum kept from like yonks ago (mum’s all sentimental and sweet. Which means- lots of lil mementos of when Q didn’t even know that hearts didn’t have faces on them) ;) so I found two cards. One said:

Dear mom. I love you..
you are the best mommy and the most beautiful mommy (heart with smiley face here)
i love your fluffy hair (i know, thats not a compliment)
please will you buy me BYNOKULARS. (see, stalking days started ages ago)
Sign here___________
Love, your dorter.

And then there was:
Dear mommy.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Sugar is white
And so are you!
That’s why I love you ;)

Hehe, think that could get me into trouble in the new SA ;)

Oh and then I found this heart-wrenching and melodramatic poem I wrote a few years ago. Every poem of mine had to have butterflies and stars in it to make it a poem lol. I cant even remember who it was for or why..well, ok maybe a little, but its funny:

Haunted souls would seem less affected
Sun-drenched dreams take protection
Beneath ravaged branches of perfection
And shiver in an icy embrace.
A butterfly falters in the wind
The stars align and rip her wings.
Footprints on the dunes of a deserted mind,
The rulers never intended the heart’s smile.
Radiating beams of sweet shimmering sorrow
Pierce the petals of tomorrow
And selected affection takes its place

Anyhoo, im off tomorrow!! Yay!! Be good, and if eid is on Friday and I don’t get the chance to wish you lovely people…EID MUBAAARAAAAK!! Oh and please post all your Eidi for Q in the chatbox. And Waseem, R5 coins don’t count.
Hugs and mountains of bubble wrap,

11:16 PM

material, magic and my italian

nobody should be up this early on a cold rainy Monday morning. But a certain girlie managed to photocopy the wrong tut reading and relied on somebody else and now I need to go and do that all over again. Enough about that.
I cannot explain the beauty that came my way this weekend. Mum (miss Style Muffin) bought me this top. OMG. I cant stop looking at it and wondering where its been all my life. Its all funky and flowy and gorgeous. Maybe I shouldve bought two. Its just the most stunning thing!! Ooh, and then I got to choose fabric – silk, lace and organza for this evening gown for a ladeedaa wedding.lol. see, the problem is – I feel bad wearing things that cost a lot. Im trying to rationalize this somehow coz its just gonna be amazing and fairytale- like…
Anyway, before I start sounding materialistic, I must say that with two close family weddings coming up, im feeling tingly..in that ‘something good’s gonna happen’ way..coz it seems like family starting to finally pull together…feels great. And I get to invite five people to this wedding in durbs coz its huge lol. See? Tingly excitedness! And then there’s laudium…I could live there. And the wedding’s a good excuse to be glittery and graceful coz we’ll be welcoming the people.woohoo!! hmm…kinda makes me feel like getting married too. Feel like. Feel like. Not want to. I have marriage issues – like, if I get married now and choose the colour theme, in two years, I don’t wanna look back and think ‘damn, those were horrible tones, cant I do it all over again?’ hehe, bet im sounding like a real ditz now. Oh- and there’s that tiny problem of deciding on the right groom ;)
My cards are ready!! Cant believe my first beeg company order…and I friend gave me a brilliant idea last week which could be very fruitful. And while this weekend rocked, I still managed to miss saying goodbye to juju, who went to London by like 3 hours. Not good. I was supposed to run behind the plane in my red sari and say ‘jaao juju, jaao’ and cry my eyes out lol, but I kinda overslept ;) nevermind. There’s always December.
Man. Im freezing and im wearing 3 layers. And I cant stop and now ive adopted a nasty habit of sleeping through sehri. So Q’s shrinking again. Not that I mind. But the headaches aren’t very pleasant. ;) so I was reading an Islamic book…and it said coz your soul is operating at different levels of consciousness and time, your dreams often float between them and that’s how dreams can seem to real, or actually happens later in life. If that’s true, it means a hot Italian guy’s gonna follow me in Spar every Sunday and play monopoly with me.yay!
Im off to unfreeze and save my eyes from the blinding view of a fat chick in low rise jeans sitting in front of me.
Loves an ‘ugs from Lugz
After eid, its my first bunny chow.

2:40 AM

amaaaandla free thinkers and prawns

My baby’s coming home tonight!! YAY ;) after the goodbyes and two nights of separation and my sadness…my computer’s being discharged from ICU!! Idiot virus. Even infected my digital camera. As a friend said to me ‘be careful where you put stick your stick.’ Lol! Ok I cant think. Im sitting in the lan while the SRC elections are going on and this guy on the mike is going crazy saying Amaaaandla as the most inopportune times and he’s just basically driving people crazy coz he only has 2 little girls behind him going ‘amaandla’ in little voices. Poor things think they’re getting paid for this. I keep thinking about ocean basket..and the day dew, jo and I had lunch there. I miss prawns. Amandla prawns!! This chick came up to me from the SRC and said ‘hi, we have Indian people as candidates, so I hope you vote.’ I wanted to turn around and slap her and say ‘oh thanx my little coconut, but what kind of campaigning is that? And im not Indian, im a white that’s just gotten a hectic tan, so tell me, which white can I vote for, since there are only blacks and Indians there, but you’ve just implied I wont vote for a black person?’
That’s what gets me! Assumptions. And that too, on race. And within race stereotypes. Somebody said to me last week ‘oh, you’re friendly for a memon.’ Now I took that as a compliment instead of going at him on a tangent coz he’s basically a good guy. Let me spell this out. Memons are not little demons just waiting around to make a quick buck out of you. And I resent the inclusion, coz if you look closely, we’re quite generous – and while some do only focus on money, I think ive carved an identity for myself that would project something positive. Yet, I get the memon crap. Well you know what, im proud of it – I wouldn’t want to be any other way..so is there a memon I can vote for? Essentially, we all don’t speak the languages from the Indian villages we stem from. Hell, I don’t even know which one I came from, I just heard that there were free air particles, hence our long noses ;) yeah yeah. Lame.whatever. im just saying. Don’t judge.
Amandla free thinkers! Now that I’d vote for. And another thing. Don’t assume im like somebody else coz im their friend. As a ‘prospective’ said to me..’I have three brothers..but you know whats good..we all have different personalities.’ ;) startling. But true. Don’t box me in. I will put myself into an egg box when I feel the need.

Just let things be. Coz if I wanted to, I could unleash a can of whip-ass and that wouldn’t be pretty. (Coz I’d probably be the one crying ;) ) lol. Anyway, I got some orders to complete :D so I’ll be off to buy things. OMG I got the biggest bargain yesterday on white stones for my vases. Amaaandla bargain basket! By the way, my birthday list will be out soon- and if you buy me something from bargain basket or everlasting – I’ll know ;) but seriously though, a day with friends playing charades would be awesome!! Dew acted out ‘serendipity’ the last time lol – now that was hardcore! Amaaandla charades!
My fingers are freezing…maybe its coz of the cold radiating from my heart ;) or so some people think. To juju, whose going to London – I know you’ll rock it. And please try not to look suspicious ;) Nikhat: it’s a Ramadaan miracle that Sheldon our baby turtle has come back to life! ;) and if the internet is mean to you, its just coz its jealous of your hotness ;) Amaaandla science people!

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