4:44 AM

A blank sheet, begging to be written on, drawn on, or at least crumpled up and thrown away. for a brief moment, a dance with a rush of air and a rapid descent into the darkness…met with a new texture, a new fear, and the weight of the expectation to do something great lifted off burdened corners. Who ever thought we would amount to this much nothingness…who ever thought out loud with a hint of predictive humour that this would be where our footsteps would lie. Here. Today. And if somebody had never taken this leap of faith and trusted in the intriguing mystery of the path that called, this today would be different. And who knows where the descent would have lead. Well. I guess now we will never know. And comfortingly so. Yet the new comfort comes with new fears and the bottom is an illusion of booby-trapped tiles that beg to be danced on. I will never know if I don’t try..and that is the way the world creaks and rumbles on, on its axis, unaware of the risks, the ascents and descents that it contains. Everyday a new hope, a loss, a confusion, a clarity and the constant hum of people packing up their lives and venturing onto a new track.

Would you miss what you left behind I wonder…even though you don’t know its here.

There must be some magnetic force that draws you onto the path of a speeding train even though you know you’ll lose yourself. Yet. Don’t we all hope to be proven wrong? Waiting. For some ‘thing’ to stop the earth from turning for 30 seconds so things can fall into place, and get it spinning again. Craving. For that rush of air…knowing the descent is ahead, and hoping to be proved wrong. And yet, sometimes we are proven wrong. At the times we least expect, from the sources we least expect; and you are able to trust the things you always doubted. And yes, I would miss it even though I don’t know that its here. It’s the fleeting glance of it that brings me back every time, taking the same path, hoping to see the reflection on the piece of glass being held up to the light.

10:25 PM

hello hi.
missQ is wearing the sunshine top today.. ahem ahem.hint hint to the rocking person who bought it for her ;) im so hungry. i've been dying for this chicken shwarma and huge serving of chips with mayo and chili from wrap it up.but nobody seems to understand!!! i need it. like i need to live you know?
ugh. group projects again this year..this time i cant seem to keep the bitchiness in.
oWWW! this dude across me just kicked me under the table..flip. he doesnt care. i bet he's downloading 'corn' as we speak! yeah, so i been thinking...and drawing..and thinking some more...what's better? avoiding or confrontation..coz im in whatever mode and apparently i shouldnt be. but its working for me right now. im all chilled like. lark im sow chilled dude...its lark totally narce..everythings all waat and blue china...
k enough. crap man! this guys feets are so damn huge, i cant sit. basket!
me have to run off to seminar.yay me ;(
if i dont post by thursday..lemme just say HAPPY BIRTHDAY NIKKI!! love you loads my lil aloo!

10:16 PM

waking up

elo all yous goods peoples :)
yeah. ok i trying to force myself to be in a good mood so i can wake up....and i have crappy meeting at 9am ;( oh well.
ew. i think somebody next to me let one go...a very beeg one.
im so forgetful today!! me almost forgot to press the bell thingy on the bus this morning when it got near my stop. almost landed up very fay from where i supposed to be...and then i forgot some other stuff i cant remember now. and no, im not getting old, i just tired.
ooh, A1 this weekend!!! yaaay!! it soo cool to hear the cars in the morning.
ok. i too tired to type.
jumma mubarak
ps. if you draw or knows anyone who draws political cartoons, or wants to write artcles for a newsletter, let me know...
fankyoubye @--'--

7:48 AM

stop and stare...

This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move, I'm shakin off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel... And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead
Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be,
oh Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can u see what I see
They're tryin to come back,
all my senses push Un-tie the weight bags,
I never thought I could...
Steady feet, don't fail me now
Gonna run till you can't walk
But something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down...
Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be,
oh Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there A
nd you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, you don't need What u need, what u need...
Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do u see what I see...

10:14 PM

why Q gets squished alot.

i got squished on the bus this morning...it seems like i attract these 'healthy' people, coz im sitting there, sleeping with my eyes open in the hope that this bus will take me to anywhere beautiful, except campus, when im jolted awake by somefatbody's thigh or elbow half on top of me. i mean, there's a whole lota space at the back, but no, they will choose to sit next to the small girlie in the front, who by the end of the trip, will have practically become one with the window.

yeah, that happened to me agin this morning...this beeeg chick came and shoved her way into my area, with a big checkers packet and a lunchbox in it which she obviously favoured over me, coz she held it up in my face like it was some kryptonite medal. eish. and then i go and volunteer to work instead of staying home. so here i am.
but yesterday, the cutest thing happened on the bus. niki and Q were on their way home. this guy was sitting in front of us, and in front of him, was this gal. after a while, he takes out a piece of paper, writes something on it, taps her on the shoulder, and gives it to her. she writes something back...and a few minutes later, he goes and sits next to her and they start talking :D and niki and Q were like 'awwww..thats so sweeeet!' valentine miracle hehe..

gawd. i am so sleepy...and this morning it was sunny and then it got rainy in 2 minutes and it confused me...and i got frowny. and now i have a headache. and im worrying about something that i shouldnt be worrying about. which is silly on my part really. but i think worrying is my thing. and baking.
pink happiness all around.

10:22 PM

Hi, I’m Queeneth and im in Postgrad ;)

The Q is back for her 100th post…and so named Queeneth by her friend in masters of molecular biology, Stikhat. Ahem. We scratched the name Gulaabji off the list when mum said it paid some reverence to the prostitute in Saawariya. Which by the way, was the crappiest movie ever, only second to the Hindi version of Heartbreakers. It is imperative at this moment to state that ‘MissQ endorses Aamir Khan’s Taare Zameen Par.’ Brilliant! Anyhoo, the Q has grown up. Yes, the wisdoms have started to impose themselves on my much aligned and super sensitive teeth. As nervous as I was to meet the new dentist, I had convinced myself that he would be better than the last one who was a Ben Stiller clone. I was greeted by an ageing, bearded dentist, with a contraption attached to his glasses which made for interesting magnifiers. He just so happened to be hard of hearing too, and while pottering about in my mouth asks, ever few minutes, ‘what you said the problem was bheti?’ shame. He said bismillah a few times, coz I ended up getting a bit violent and pushing his hand away twice, to his horror..judging from the tablighi demeanor, I doubt he’d had that kinda contact with a ghair mahram in a while ;) as for the nurses, they got my name and address wrong about 6 times and couldn’t grasp the concept of M-e-d-i-c-a-l A-i-d, finally announced ‘we are confused’ which didn’t make me feel any better. Ya, so this guy might extract my wisdoms…apparently there’s a streak of brilliance lurking around in him.

The rest of the holiday rocked though..family weddings were the bestest!! We haven’t had close family weddings in a while, and being part of it all just went beyond my expectations. The laudium wedding was so beautiful…it was held in this hall which opened up onto a garden..and my cousin got his and his bride’s names put onto the number plate. too sweet. As for the wedding in dbn, that was like a mafia wedding lol! Black merc parade. But it was stunning just as well.

I need another holiday! Its weird being back on campus. This year, it’s a whole new realm. I a lil bit worried. But its soooo cool having a degree. And then! When they stamp your student card and it says post grad. Yay. At registration, some butch Indian chick came up to my friend and I. She says, ‘ay, you people in fest yeh?’ and we were like, ‘No..we’re in POST GRAD’ hehe!! Its like the guy you’ve liked for 3years who never noticed you, coming up to and asking you out…and then you’re like. ‘no.’ :D in your face! Ok ok..maybe not as thrilling, but it rocks, and it took me a while to get here, after taking like 10 subjects in 1st and 2nd year coz I didn’t know which direction I was headed in. I’m excited about tutoring..ooh, the power of a marking pencil!!
If you’re wondering if im on a sugar high right now…10 points! For some reason I’ve been living off lindt and ferero’s and tumbles recently. Works for me though.

Anyway, im off to attack that chicken and roti thing Dew made me addicted to. Oh, happy Wellington’s Day ppl! @---,--‘

Pink happiness all around ;)

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