reflections of an only child...struggling to shatter stereotypes, battling against the demons of loneliness in hi heeled sandals and a tiara...welcome to the alcoves of my mind.
- ▼ October (8)
- ► 2007 (78)
It was the night before Shiraz’s birthday and Joe, Q, Niki, Was and Mj found themselves at Waseem’s place rehearsing their happy birthday song for Shiraz..the remixed version…
Mj: this whole singing thing is Haraam! I don’t wanna do this anymore. Its gay.
Jo: no! We need to do this more theatrically people! Im directing! I did drama!
Mj: yeah, but you didn’t do 3B. Loser.
Was: hey shut up – her father’s on tv!
Niki: Omg! I had a dream about this exact moment!! Except..we were at the movies and we didn’t know each other.
Mj: Q, we’re all in your head and all you can say is wow?
Jo: don’t be mean Mj! Can’t you see she’s having a bad hair day?
Q: I am?
Mj: nice one Jo
Was (blocking the mirror): er..
Niki: no man. ‘That’s’ in fashion now!
Waseem: Sssshhhh….Shiraz is coming!!! Get in the closet everybody!
Mj: Im in the closet! Im in the closet!
Q, Jo and Niki: me too! Me too!
Shiraz opens the door: I thought I heard voices down here.
Waseem: no, it was me…I haven’t told you this before. But I have a split personality…I know. It’s a shock. Please don’t disown me.
Shiraz: oh no, first my girlfriend! Now my brother!
Meanwhile..in the closet..
Jo: something’s poking me!
Mj: you wish.
Q: im hungry
Niki: me too – oh wait let me make popcorn. I found this copper wire. Im sure I can conduct some electricity…
Before anybody could scream Nooooooo! There was the huge pop of corn and a mini explosion and Mj tumbled out of the closet in a poof of smoke.
Shiraz: MJ! What the hell!
The tension was too much for Waseem to handle and suddenly he resorted to the safety of his other personality, Ramadaan Alli, the Pakistani dress designer.
Ramadaan Alli: oh my Mj! Darling! What amazing taste you have! Lets see what else is hiding in the closet!
With a flourish, he threw open the closet and there stood Niki, Q and Joe...Niki holding the burnt copper wire, Jo with popcorn in her hair..and Q who’s hair was perfect after the explosion.
Shiraz: what the hell! What the hell!
Mj: we can explain, its not what it looks like…
Mj: ok maybe it is what it looks like.
Q: no, we were just hungry and looking for food so we came to your house.ya. That’s all. *flash*
Shiraz: wow! oh ok..that makes sense honey…my squishywishy lovebug. You’re so amazing…and sparkly
Niki: what just happened…
Mj: wait! I missed that!!
Jo: hey I brought mutton curry!
At the mention of Mutton Curry, Waseem came back to himself..
Waseem: hey what happened? And why am I wearing a pink shirt?
But horror of all horrors…Waseem thought he would see his beloved Mutton Curry, Jo instead pulled out a pot of mutton curry from her Pick and Pay bag…
Waseem: omg! What did you doo!!
Jo: um, the butchery was closed so I made qurbani of Mutton Curry. But here – I saved his heart for you.
Mj: dish up already! And I can’t wait the whole night to surprise Shiraz with our song.
Shiraz: ooh surprise? Yay!
Q: yeah yeah! but its not quite ready yet..
Shiraz: omg guys. This is like the best birthday ever!
Jo, Q and Niki: We know! We know! And look – we put your picture in the post under ‘look who turned 16 today’
Q: yeah…but the pic is of the back of you’re head..so that you’re incog…incogn..incognito!
Shiraz: aww baby, you learnt the meaning of the word!
Niki: I know you stole this from that movie we watched Q
Q: yeah but only we watch Friday movies on etv at 2.30pm so all these people don’t know what I plagiarized.
Meanwhile..Mj had received at urgent call from his producer. It seemed the set of his show had been torched by various angry and jealous bloggers under the very original and cryptic name of ‘Anonymous’
Mj: eff! We’re gonna have to shoot here now.
Waseem: omg. my place is gonna be on TV! Ok, but in that case, we all have to be on the show!
Niki: finally! The real Jessica Alba will be revealed tonight! And all the world will see me!! Muhhahaha!!
Q: *sniff* don’t do that Niki..it scary when you laugh like that.
Shiraz: see what you did now! What the hell do I do now. Crap.
Mj: ok shut the eff up everybody! We’re live!
Mj: ahem..eff eff eff..ok ‘Assalamualaikum everybody and welcome to the Mj..’
Jo (sticking her head and ear into the frame): no today it’s the Jo and Was and Niki and Shiraz and Q and Mj show..and yes, yes im AK’s daughter’
Mj: right. As you can see viewers…we have some unexpected guests on the show that I picked up on the side of the road.
Waseem: hey what you saying about my place?
Mj: and today we’ll be interviewing somebody very important who has become a light in the darkness for all of mankind..Noorie.
Niki aka Noorie: im so honoured to be here…to bestow my noor upon everybody in times of upcoming load shedding.
Q: when am I gonna be on? When? When?
Mj: ok as you can see, our enthusiastic guest on this side would like to share something with you
Q: oh..am I on? Ok..so here’s how to make a card.. first..you take paper.and then you take scissors and then you sniff some glue..come on..inhale..inhale
Waseem: this is boring. Jo can make origami thingies!
Jo: yeah! Look! I make 5000 stars.
Q: so what! Its all katchra!
Mj: I think we need to move this outside. Noorie come with us, one of the lights blew. So our topic for the day is the deterioration of the youth in contemporary society…
Shiraz: yes, the youth is deteriorating
Shiraz: nevermind angel..its ok. Don’t try.You’ll hurt yourself.
Jo: Noorie!! Look this way..ok hi viewers, right now im doing the cooking insert…im better than lamees! So im gonna show you how to make mutton curry..
Waseem: you sure you got me in the frame too?
Mj: CUT!! %&$#!!!!!!!!
Everybody suddenly fell silent.
Mj: oh that was on air..er…
Q: um you know we didn’t do the surprise yet!! Ok ok, everybody on dstv, id like to send a dedication to Shiraz to wish him happy birthday and we’d like to surprise him with this number we’ve been working on the whole week…
Everybody (with dance moves) ‘Apple bottom jeeeeeeeans…boots with the furrrrrr…’
For some reason this bloggie isn’t allowing me to post a pic. While the subtle avoidance of posting anything readable has become a comforting way of flying under the radar due to a) having much more important real life interaction to worry about words on a screen and b) not having the energy to broadcast incidences in my life to people, i must admit that i miss the writing. And yes, i could have written something on a lil blank page and folded it up and put it away, but i couldn’t find a page. My bag is all the way over there...
Somebody important said to me yesterday, that he doesn’t see why everybody has to have and opinion every time. Recently my mind has resembled a sieve..but those words stuck in my head. And he’s right. Sometimes people just say things to have a word in, but it really doesn’t mean anything. Sometimes no matter how you feel or what you think, people are going to do or say whatever they want to. People will be selfish, whore around or just basically be there for you when they have something to gain – except those who really mean something. And those are few and far between anyway. So yes, silence is golden and words will find whoever is worthy of them.
And i”m not saying go on and ignore people, but if you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say it at all. Though we’ve all been guilty of talking crap about others, nothing matters in the end. Opinions don’t matter – its the actions that do. And if you can justify yours and I can justify mine, we’re not living our lives for each other, so let people be. It’s different when opinions from valued people are asked for...but five years down the line, some things just won’t hold any weight.
It’s really quite something to see whose there for you when something bad happens – like recently. And I know that overall, it turned out well, but I still have this residual anger that comes from thinking where the hell some people were when I needed them and why my friends came through more than my some of my family cared to. I get that friends are the family we choose in life...but when it comes down to it, if they weren’t there, I really wouldn’t have known better. If it weren’t for you...who stayed up with me when I was too sad to sleep and you who made me laugh when I didn’t think I could. And you who to me, are my family.
So now its being asked why my independence has pushed me to isolate myself or take on things on my own and not ask for help or opinions on the way things should be. Well I don’t feel like I need to, because I’ve gotten this far without conforming. And I will do what I think I need to, to make myself feel ok again. I don’t need you to tell me it will be ok – you haven’t all along... and when you tell me the way things should be done, you can guarantee ill have my earphones on. But at the end of the day, I will smile, be respectful and include you in my moments of joy..because may someday I could find a way to forgive you.
So Q was walking through the grape fields of Australia all alone one fateful Thursday night…all the while wishing that some sign would appear before her to let her know that she would find somebody so patient, loving and cute that she would wake up smiling every morning. Suddenly, a sign popped up in front of her…but no, it did not register. ‘wow,’ she thought, ‘that’s a pretty name for a wine.’ And she kept walking. Blonde as she sometimes was after 8pm, the sign she saw did not remind her of a sign she asked for. Somebody Up There had finally had enough. And the real Shiraz came hurtling down from the heavens (aasman se aaya) toward Q in a shower of meteors (I know, this is where it gets original). And he was all ‘what the hell!’ and Q was all. ‘whoa..this seems familiar somehow.’ And with his latent powers that manifested themselves at this moment…he ripped open his…his…bag! And in it, was this blue and red cape thingy (which was totally not gay) and it had his initial on it! An ‘S!’ then he told her, that he was sent from Jannat to bring me this shiny green rock and also, some jelebi (my Jannat ke jelebi).
Yeah. That’s how we met ;)
And I get drunk on happiness called Shiraz everyday…
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