Qdee the Ladee
reflections of an only child...struggling to shatter stereotypes, battling against the demons of loneliness in hi heeled sandals and a tiara...welcome to the alcoves of my mind.
- ▼ 2008 (42)
- ► 2007 (78)
so after ages, i've been cruising the blogs as they say (ok, im lying - they dont say that), but it has become strikingly clear that blogging has lost its essence. i dont know if it had one to begin with, but yeah, whatever scrap of truth and free speechiness there was about it has gone. people are mean. instead of just letting things be, everybody just has to have an opinion. its the reason i left for a while before. if you dont like what someone blogs, dont say anything at all. just be happy that the number of computer literate people is increasing in SA and they arent emotionally retarded.
but really, the bus stop is like having a daily dose of the theatre..well more like a reality show..sometimes its Survivor (huddling under the shelter under the umbrella while your Skechers with the glitter on them get drenced). other times its The Amazing Race - when you have to practically run halfway into the road to wave the bus down in order to get to the place on time - (of course breakdowns and lost drivers make this all the more exhilirating) and often, its Fear Factor....where you find yourself staring out the window with a beeeeg unknown flying insect crawling across your view or! (insert Jaws music here)....sitting squished between a fat mama and the window on a hot summer day while mama decides to get friendly and put her arm up behind you. yeah...bring it on, i've been through the worse..and that includes the taxi's...which i traveled in today. i had the pleasure of taking a drive in 'Midnight Sensation' which had Barry White crooning in my ears til we reached West Street. Although Midnight Temptation and Midnight Breeze are in a similar league. 'Just Cruising' lies...it doesnt cruise..it flies through town and weaves through traffic and by the end of the trip, you're left with an afro and the feeling that you're still moving. but 'South Side' really takes it...especially since it goes to North beach..which leaves many confused. but the plush pink velvet interior and the blue tinted windows makes up for it. really, you ppl in cars dont know what you're missing ;)
but its the converstations you hear at the bus stop that truly make it a unique and fascinating place...
girl on cellphone next to me: what! he's threatening to kill himself coz we broke up??? the idiot! im on the way to campus..i soooo dont need this now..put him on the phone! just put him on the phone!!....hello? yeah, you screwed up dude! its all your fault. dont be all pathetic- you must live with what you did!'
and with that, she cut the call and got on the bus.
we have a cool friendly security gaurd that guards the stop, who chats to like everybody and took it upon himself to chat to me very cute sweet, innocent friend..
guard: 'eish its cold today..'
friend: 'yeah! the night was really freezing'
guard: 'yeah..i was cold too..it must be coz i sleep alone. i need a fat girlfriend - then i'll be ok. i like them fat...you must see.there's a nice fat one in clicks.'
then there are those who pump you for information....its like the inquisition and the bus is your only hope of getting away! but for some reason beggars think that you're the ultimate target. i mean you stand there with exact bus fare ready..and then they come and ask and i feel really bad..but really - people who take the bus need the change! we've had some incident of people getting thrown of the bus coz they waltz on with a R50 note. eish..thats embarassing.. whats more embarassing is getting up to get off and flying to the front on your butt coz the driver hits the breaks really hard lol...or throwing up on the bus (i have blessed a few buses in my childhood...ah good times).
anyhoo...i shall be off...niki and i have some serious government business to attend to of official importance. the cyber advnetures of niki and Q - battling the binary codes and surfing through the channels of communication while eating cookies and hacking into facebook ;)
okbye. oh and if you're stuck at the bus stop of your life and the bus is late..or isnt coming..take Midnight Sensation..you'll never know where it may lead. this is advice for life.
It was the night before Shiraz’s birthday and Joe, Q, Niki, Was and Mj found themselves at Waseem’s place rehearsing their happy birthday song for Shiraz..the remixed version…
Mj: this whole singing thing is Haraam! I don’t wanna do this anymore. Its gay.
Jo: no! We need to do this more theatrically people! Im directing! I did drama!
Mj: yeah, but you didn’t do 3B. Loser.
Was: hey shut up – her father’s on tv!
Niki: Omg! I had a dream about this exact moment!! Except..we were at the movies and we didn’t know each other.
Mj: Q, we’re all in your head and all you can say is wow?
Jo: don’t be mean Mj! Can’t you see she’s having a bad hair day?
Q: I am?
Mj: nice one Jo
Was (blocking the mirror): er..
Niki: no man. ‘That’s’ in fashion now!
Waseem: Sssshhhh….Shiraz is coming!!! Get in the closet everybody!
Mj: Im in the closet! Im in the closet!
Q, Jo and Niki: me too! Me too!
Shiraz opens the door: I thought I heard voices down here.
Waseem: no, it was me…I haven’t told you this before. But I have a split personality…I know. It’s a shock. Please don’t disown me.
Shiraz: oh no, first my girlfriend! Now my brother!
Meanwhile..in the closet..
Jo: something’s poking me!
Mj: you wish.
Q: im hungry
Niki: me too – oh wait let me make popcorn. I found this copper wire. Im sure I can conduct some electricity…
Before anybody could scream Nooooooo! There was the huge pop of corn and a mini explosion and Mj tumbled out of the closet in a poof of smoke.
Shiraz: MJ! What the hell!
The tension was too much for Waseem to handle and suddenly he resorted to the safety of his other personality, Ramadaan Alli, the Pakistani dress designer.
Ramadaan Alli: oh my Mj! Darling! What amazing taste you have! Lets see what else is hiding in the closet!
With a flourish, he threw open the closet and there stood Niki, Q and Joe...Niki holding the burnt copper wire, Jo with popcorn in her hair..and Q who’s hair was perfect after the explosion.
Shiraz: what the hell! What the hell!
Mj: we can explain, its not what it looks like…
Mj: ok maybe it is what it looks like.
Q: no, we were just hungry and looking for food so we came to your house.ya. That’s all. *flash*
Shiraz: wow! oh ok..that makes sense honey…my squishywishy lovebug. You’re so amazing…and sparkly
Niki: what just happened…
Mj: wait! I missed that!!
Jo: hey I brought mutton curry!
At the mention of Mutton Curry, Waseem came back to himself..
Waseem: hey what happened? And why am I wearing a pink shirt?
But horror of all horrors…Waseem thought he would see his beloved Mutton Curry, Jo instead pulled out a pot of mutton curry from her Pick and Pay bag…
Waseem: omg! What did you doo!!
Jo: um, the butchery was closed so I made qurbani of Mutton Curry. But here – I saved his heart for you.
Mj: dish up already! And I can’t wait the whole night to surprise Shiraz with our song.
Shiraz: ooh surprise? Yay!
Q: yeah yeah! but its not quite ready yet..
Shiraz: omg guys. This is like the best birthday ever!
Jo, Q and Niki: We know! We know! And look – we put your picture in the post under ‘look who turned 16 today’
Q: yeah…but the pic is of the back of you’re head..so that you’re incog…incogn..incognito!
Shiraz: aww baby, you learnt the meaning of the word!
Niki: I know you stole this from that movie we watched Q
Q: yeah but only we watch Friday movies on etv at 2.30pm so all these people don’t know what I plagiarized.
Meanwhile..Mj had received at urgent call from his producer. It seemed the set of his show had been torched by various angry and jealous bloggers under the very original and cryptic name of ‘Anonymous’
Mj: eff! We’re gonna have to shoot here now.
Waseem: omg. my place is gonna be on TV! Ok, but in that case, we all have to be on the show!
Niki: finally! The real Jessica Alba will be revealed tonight! And all the world will see me!! Muhhahaha!!
Q: *sniff* don’t do that Niki..it scary when you laugh like that.
Shiraz: see what you did now! What the hell do I do now. Crap.
Mj: ok shut the eff up everybody! We’re live!
Mj: ahem..eff eff eff..ok ‘Assalamualaikum everybody and welcome to the Mj..’
Jo (sticking her head and ear into the frame): no today it’s the Jo and Was and Niki and Shiraz and Q and Mj show..and yes, yes im AK’s daughter’
Mj: right. As you can see viewers…we have some unexpected guests on the show that I picked up on the side of the road.
Waseem: hey what you saying about my place?
Mj: and today we’ll be interviewing somebody very important who has become a light in the darkness for all of mankind..Noorie.
Niki aka Noorie: im so honoured to be here…to bestow my noor upon everybody in times of upcoming load shedding.
Q: when am I gonna be on? When? When?
Mj: ok as you can see, our enthusiastic guest on this side would like to share something with you
Q: oh..am I on? Ok..so here’s how to make a card.. first..you take paper.and then you take scissors and then you sniff some glue..come on..inhale..inhale
Waseem: this is boring. Jo can make origami thingies!
Jo: yeah! Look! I make 5000 stars.
Q: so what! Its all katchra!
Mj: I think we need to move this outside. Noorie come with us, one of the lights blew. So our topic for the day is the deterioration of the youth in contemporary society…
Shiraz: yes, the youth is deteriorating
Shiraz: nevermind angel..its ok. Don’t try.You’ll hurt yourself.
Jo: Noorie!! Look this way..ok hi viewers, right now im doing the cooking insert…im better than lamees! So im gonna show you how to make mutton curry..
Waseem: you sure you got me in the frame too?
Mj: CUT!! %&$#!!!!!!!!
Everybody suddenly fell silent.
Mj: oh that was on air..er…
Q: um you know we didn’t do the surprise yet!! Ok ok, everybody on dstv, id like to send a dedication to Shiraz to wish him happy birthday and we’d like to surprise him with this number we’ve been working on the whole week…
Everybody (with dance moves) ‘Apple bottom jeeeeeeeans…boots with the furrrrrr…’
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