12:10 AM

Banging frogs: a lab experiment

One bright sunny day (yes, that’s redundant, but its my blogg!!)in the UKZN chemistry lab, Organ Harvester and MJ were putting their skills to the test, to pass a practical to impress their demi in a white lab coat and hi heels, Niki (nikhat had to feature in this one)…the experiment would be tedious yet enlightening, as banging frogs was the one thing they had promised each other: fade out to two weeks before..
Mj: dude, lets do something wild for my birthday!!
OH: yeah!! Wow, lets bungee ;)
Mj: no, lets spank bad monkeys…
OH: what? No, that just sounds wrong, its overated. But maybe that’s just me.
Mj: its just you.
OH: oh. Ok. Well, lets bang frogs too.

So the experiment began today…as they donned their darth vader masks and held out their lightsabres (scalpels) in slow motion…just as they motioned towards the frogs to stun them, Joe, Dew and Qdee breezed in (hair all floaty in the breeze like Shirley from Hair Sensation worked her magic).
Jo, Dew and Qd (in unison) :Hi boys *giggle* ;)
Mj to OH: eff it, lets leave the frogs.
OH: we cant!! They’ve been prepared for us...you know, we need to harvest the organs. (looking to the light) for my plan..to infiltrate my name into all organs in the world!! Then I shall be King harvester!! (cue music)
Qd: what’s up with that guy?
Jo: I dunno, but hey, you got any cow organs? Im decorating my room.
Dew: there should be some here..ooh, sand!!
Mj: where’s my monkey??
Qd: Waseem borrowed it for the night…

Meanwhile, OH was getting impatient, “lets bang the damn frogs already!”
Mj: if you insist. Here take one..
OH: yeugh.dude. its gross. It better be worth it.
Jo(thinking): awww the froggies…I like green.its a wholesome colour. Hmm. Green would look so good on Robbie Williams…
Dew (thinking): I bet I could make great keyrings with those eyeballs. OMG! This is just like Grey’s anatomy!!
Qd (thinking): I haven’t been on mxit for 7 whole minutes..ppl better have left me offline msgs. Damn this labcoat looks good on me. Juju needs to see this.

Soon, Niki waltzed in, looking curiously at the girls… ‘What are these biatches doing here?’
Mj: ignore them.
OH: pass the frog.
‘Now,’ Niki instructed, ‘you will pick one of them teeny weeny frogs..like this…and in a nanosecond, bang em on the table!’
OH: cool, no foreplay.
Mj: yeah, unconscious subjects rock! But dont they light up? i like things that light up.
Mj and OH tried what Niki had told them…but Mj’s frog refused to be banged unconscious.
Mj: dude, this one’s like rubber
OH: you’re banging wrong.
Mj: no, I have massive hands! They can do no wrong!
Qd, Joe and Dew: oooh, lets see!!

By this time, OH had injected the King harvester brainwashing solution into his frog after banging, asphyxiating and dissecting his frog. Waseem suddenly barged in, ‘take your monkey back mj! It just eat spicy pasta all day!’
At the mention of spicy pasta, Mj let go of his frog. In an instant, the monkey ran after the dazed frog, breaking bottles filled with chemicals…suddenly a fatal fart (we wont say who from) ignited the chemicals and set the lab on fire!!

Dew: wait! Don’t take out your cellphones!!the radiation combined with the fumes will kill us!! Drink water.
Qd: noooo!! I have to check my offline messages!!
Jo: save the froggies!! (she’s very summarative like that)
Waseem: you know…I saw a movie like this once…
OH: put all the organs in my cooler box… next to the human heart!!
Nikki: my lab coat’s on fire!!
OH: Quick!take it off!
Mj: wow, this is a good birthday. The whole place lit up ;)


The Organ Harvester said...

hahaha. woohoo, i feature in your blog post. almost feel like singing in japanese. i said almost.
space cakes right? and you didnt even share. dont you know mind altering drugs is a social thing. if you're doing it alone, them you have a serious problem.
did i miss a birthday?
once again class post. i think mj and i should start our own offensive tv show. and judging by this post you should also get a role.

Waseem said...

Yay Im in the post. Its such a cool post too, before long it will be a classic.
I was thinking about the time at the blogger dinner, you and Dew were giggling at boys with bags strapped against their chest.

Anonymous said...


Dew said...


Hun, this was so awesome , I just loved it. It ddn't make sense but it was so real and awesome!

And yeah, I probably would have said drink water! and Jow widve said green is lovely and you wouldv'e wanted to check your offlines! lol.

Was: oooh you reminded me....yum.

!Joe! said...


I can't imagine nikhat calling anyone biatch :D and you summed me up perfectly, cows, green, robbie...oh, you forgot turtles! :)

This was weird and funny in that "little shop of horrors" way :) mj as Seymour? :) i think you were the funniest in this piece :D let's submit it to the SABC, see if the commissioning editors can replace Isidingo with it!:D

The Organ Harvester said...

No ways, not isidingo. Dont you dare...

Although I wouldnt mind seeing a few characters bumped off for good measure.

MJ and I were talking last night. SA needs a show which is funny and practically offensive. Rip off Brand SA because some things are just too funny to leave on their own.

Like Noeleen. When she has a cooking show. Woman starts slaivating like Jenna Jameson at a sausage fest.

qdee said...

yay u guys liked it :D
OH: ooh tv show..fame...taking over the world!!!
speaking of japanese, i had the weirdest dinner last night ;(

waseem: lol, i remember that too ;) now whats this about you and salman khan? no no, you dont want katrina either. she came to sparkport for anti-fungal cream.

fatima: yay! you're back!

dew:lol, yeah, just ahd to put the 'drink water' bit in ;) miss you

joe: lol, as long as they dont chop off 7de Laan!! damn...im sure we couldve added a turtle in their sumwhere..

OH: noeleen (throwing up smiley here)

The Organ Harvester said...

Weird dinner?
Normal dinners are over rated.

There's no fun when your food is completely dead.

I'm exciting like that.

qdee said...

lol, but it was so weird that i didnt end up eating much of it..went home and ate cheap cake ;)
im picky like that

The Organ Harvester said...

cake is never cheap. You take that back. Unless it's the SPAR who took bread rolls and filled it with icing and sold it as cream buns. Sods!

Dew said...

Q you eat those sandwiich thingies at 2Go - believe me - I find those things wierd, so you not weird... you all goood:)

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