;) ok this is soo weird. im sitting next to this girly that looks just like joe...and i bet she thinks im extremely strange coz i keep looking at her...now if only i could find some kinda diversion...then i could snap a quick pic and blog it...the only diversion would be to scream 'fiyyyeh!! bring the waateh!' but then i think i'd have to leave..in handcuffs. i was watching music videos on mute last night, watching alicia keys bang that keyboard in silence makes her looks like she's having a seizure by the way...and then leona lewis popped up and it just struck me that almost every up and coming artist has that whole melancholy, 'im lying here like a broken soul' look going for them. and somehow, that broken doll thing has become cool. i mean, which artist smiles on their album cover except them afrikaaner treffers and country music simon and garfunkel folks...there's a difference between looking sexy and looking sad like somebody stole your organs while you were sleeping..or ate your cadbury choc muffin before you got home...
look at this album cover
see? she not looking sexy..she looks like she fell down those stairs behind her and didnt clean her house for a while..and she just very unhappy.secondly..its my december, not hers. depressed people are going to identify with this, buy the cd and get more depressed, raising the suicide rate. in december. next!
my angel, michael. he is not happy..he is in fact, constipated. his mxit status would be grumpy at this point. be he is forgiven, since i had not breezed into his life at this time. then you get the other extreme: exhibit 3: 
our very own, home grown hunk-a-burning yum...blackie swart - who by the way has just eaten a huge steak and is extremely happy to be here against the bright yellow, with his trusty guitar and his 40 variations of the same song. go blackie!! but im afraid sales wont be great..coz nobody likes that one person with a happy mxit presence, no.
so finally, when i entered micheal's life, we found a middle gorund. behold! the perfect album cover pic..just the right amount of yumminess to make happy people happier and sad people smile..which is why my angel is sooo successful (my cooking has something to do with it too).
of course, i am the inspiration behind the tracks :) in this pic, i have just tickled him and he is now thinking about how lucky he is...his mxit presence would be in lurv.so cute!! so the whole 'im going to die wihtout your love' look jst doesnt work for me. i mean, get real man, you're making loads of money, look a little happier! and do yourself a favour and eat a burger before you get more anorexic. i like that guy who won Britain's got talent - he doesnt fit the mould of being this young, cool popstar, but he rocks! and he was a cellphone salesman...his response to the stardom is a big smile and 'yeah, this is bonkers!' you wouldnt find Robbie being all humble like that (sorry joe).
Our dear Dollop was sitting in his car (green one as you can see) when my initials pulled up beside him ;) and yes…I will admit, I make bread. Quality bread. Which is why im so busy that I cant reply to some messages and sometimes I cant go out on Saturday nights – its coz of the bread. And no, I don’t know why the price of bread is so high. All I know is that people are paying for my initials. Branding I think its called.
Speaking of branding, missQ went to a late movie at Suncoast – my god, if you want to see branding, just take a breeze through amid the swarm of jhb holiday makers…erm, but I’ll admit I had my own Roxy theme going ;) was that an evening to remember…my little cousin walked out of the games area at way past midnight, looked at me and echoed many of the sentiments of some weary gamblers – ‘Q, im bankrupt now’ lol, she is too cute. Try venturing into a ladies bathroom during an interval – nobody warned me. I got squished in line between an old lady in the front and this young, almost too friendly chick behind me. This girlie also had no idea of personal space, which for someone with a double D, needs to stop traumatizing ppl like me. Anyway, so the old lady in front of me somehow stepped on my toe…and she turns around and says, oh, so sorry bheti – I’m diabetic.’ I didn’t know whether to say its ok for killing my toe, or say im sorry that you’re ill. So I just made friends.
There’s something about waiting in line to use the loo that makes it gross. Maybe its that thought that there are more germs around, or that everybody knows that you’re there to..do your business. It just makes me want to flush myself to Singapore. And then I look around and think…hey that lady didn’t wash her hands- she cant be too clean in the loo…and then I get all panicky and fidgety like Monk. And then you have those lil kids that prance outa the loo. God knows what they left in there. Ladies bathrooms are not very ladylike. Even that hand drier thing. You have to touch to get it to start. Ew. But those new sensor things are cool. Even the sensor taps that jhb international airport..OR tambo, has. They get me all excited. In high school, we had pink and purple bathrooms for the girls. And people used to write things on the wall like the hottest guys this month or things like ‘Look up!’ And on the ceiling somebody wrote ‘haha, made you look, I can see what you’re doing.’ Funny now, but back then I was the new kid and it freaked me out! Made for some interesting reading, but our loos weren’t as cool as the guys who had white and black bathrooms. I don’t know what went on in there; maybe juju or nazeer can elaborate. There are rules to being in a ladies bathroom. Firstly, you don’t look at the person next to you in the mirror, no matter how much her funky hair or cleavage is demanding the attention. Also, don’t talk to people you don’t know. Just smile gracefully, like ‘yeah, my deposit is made of gold- in your face.’ The last thing you want to do is become best friends and have her say at wedding – ‘I met her in the loo’ although, I have made some friends in the bathroom…one of whom had locked herself in the cubicle by accident, and of course, the Suncoast lady. Also, don’t twirl around in the full length mirror. I did that once and people walked in and I just stopped in mid-twirl and rushed off and I could still hear em giggling. Omg. And please, make sure you are actually walking into the ladies room – not the men’s room. We wont mention any past incidents about that. I have erased them for my mental health.
Q is happy J very happy…what more does a girl need than a buttercup and some fresh air…
im trying to post a pic. of choc chip muffins...but this blog thing is screwed up. anyway. i wish choc muffins upon all of you..and an amazing long weekend. try not to break anything, crash anything, steal anything, hurt anything, swear anything, kill anyone, run over anyone, slap anyone, throw things (unless you have good reason) burn anything, hit anything, stab yourself, slit your ankles, poison yourself, and please. dont forget to moisturise.
hugs
its funny how some people,
can tell you one thing, then do another,
knowing it would hurt you and
turn around and be public about it.
but i guess double standards
come with not having a conscience.
sad little immoral attention seeker.
today is very sad day...my lil fishy bob has passed on. we will have a day of mourning. orbituaries and poems are welcome...
Oh.my.god. I had another bus ‘adventure.’ Very traumatic. See, the bus missed me again. The guy just didn’t see me waving my arm off like some possessed lil rag doll. So I waited there for another half an hour and finally, another bus came – only this time, the driver didn’t know the way to campus, and thanks to eskom, the traffic lights weren’t working, so my life flashed before my eyes quite a few times..well, I figured, at least I’d die with my red jacket on ;) anyway. The bus wasn’t that full, till this overbearing ‘woman’ (I say ‘woman’ because she was acting more like a fat parasite with no concept of personal space) came and sat next to me – rather, on top of me!! So much so, that I couldn’t reach my phone in my pocket when it rang – and there she was, well-dressed, and happily chewing her bubblegum in my face!! ;( it was so scary ;( and I kept thinking about bad words and what I could kill her with my umbrella. Im so glad its over…this day can only get better right?Right? Say yes!
As for this weekend…now that was an adventure in itself. The aunts came home for weekend. Flip, it was like I was in Prison Break. My phone got inspected, my room got examined, everytime I coughed I got that look that says – you cough again and im attacking you with Vicks, my clothes got xrayed and my cute lil fishies ot interrogated. And my poor mummy just got tired. All I remember was cooking. A lot.
Q endorses Juno by the way – oh and heaven icecream, choc brownie flavour.
Anyway, back to personal space- some people just have no grasp of what it means. I used to have this friend in school and she used to hit me lol, like everytime she made a joke and laughed, I used to get a slap on the arm or thigh. And hard! I think it was coz she had so many brothers, that she got all butch. As for me, I was all feminine and sensitive – and bruised. Somehow I managed to distance myself. Then there are those people who always want to hug – or overdo the mwah thing. Especially guys. Ew. For Q to hug somebody, it takes at least a year to graduate from the outer circumference of the personal space into the next circle etc. u cant just bypass the circumference ok!! There’s a system. And when it comes to sharing drinks with people – there’s another system, but that’s a whole different blog post ;) as for the ‘getting touchy in public people,’ please get a room. I don’t feel like being nauseous. Your bf isn’t going to run away if you don’t pin him down to earth by sitting on his lap – he will not go off in another direction if you stop hanging onto him – you aren’t a magnet. Don’t get me wrong, I love people, just stay on your side of the line, and we be ok, I promise ;)
yay :) the marbles pic is in! this morning was such a blonde morning for missQ. my sandal fell off while i was getting on the bus..and then when i eventually did get on, this faaaaat dude stepped on my toes ;( ow. i just feel like im not going to get through this day without being scratched or stomped or poked. calamity jane. but really, its not my fault. i have those days alot...you know when you're walking in a mall, or in town and people just seems to get in your way - or rather, you seem to be in everyone's way and you're like 'whats wrong with me! im a hazard to society!' and then you just decide to go home before you run over a small quiet kid. im bad wth crossing roads to..they should have anonymous meetings called 'Nervous Crossers' and we'd have meetings. and they'd be right around the corner, so I wouldnt have to cross the road to get there. or better yet, the therapist would come home ;) the only thing getting me across the road is the thought of that perfect lil choc donut waiting for me at Spar.
although sometimes i do have my rebellious brave moments where im like, bring it on! you know? and i cross with confidence. anyway, im hungover. saturday night rocked...i learnt how to play pool. let me first say that that cue (or the Q as mj puts it) was dam heavy! i mean its a stick, but its heavy! its like my height. which made me insecure, but i overlooked that and managed to get like 3 balls in the hole thingy (2 of which were the white one). and then i got half drenched in rain..and then i realised my lovely white sandal broke on the side ;( see? i have horrible luck wth sandals...but i realised my passion!! found my calling! that bin game where you throw the ball in as fast as you can ;) we went a bit crazy over that. by me, i mean me.and raeesa. its good for releasing rage etc. totally better than therapy.
missQ has to go to seminar now. with 3 people in it, there's no way i can fall asleep ;(
loads of hugs and blue smarties...
missQ
this dam *** blog isnt letting me post a pic!! or choose text colour ;( and i have such a pwetty pic to post ;( and this ***** blog NOT HELPING ME!!!!!!!!!!!
now the writing's gonna be all sick green looking and not clean and white and this post is gonna be bland without a pic. dam technology.
whatever.
there's alot going on right now. like take Jane for example. there's jack, who doesnt give a shit about her, yet she keeps running after him and bashing into the rock wall that is his stone cold heart, while Jake on the other hand, is running after her- but she doesnt care. and then Q has to sit and help out the situation and try not to kill herself while ingesting all this whiney nonsense. im like, yes, we've all been there, but dont make this my problem. i have my own pretty lil issues to sort out.
oh and to the cute lil people who mailed me and messaged me that they're glad im back, fank you ;) you make Q smile like an ecstatic yellow smiley. by the way, i decided to break the shopping drought yesterday and guess what - i found nothing. absolutely nothing i liked. and i was itching to spend money, so i spent it on food ;) (which i couldnt finish - whch means something's wrong with me, but we deal with that later).
flip man! the pic i was gonna post was so cute. so yesterday my friend pulls out a marble from my pencil case that i forgot was there. good friend gave it to me, and it was like one of those moments where you realise, that hey, this person is still one of my best friends and even though life can get hectic, they'll be there to send you an sms that'll make you laugh out loud or give a beeg hug when you feel like the world isnt working for you...or! give you a marble when they know you've lost yours ;)
ok, i have another meeting to get to. and i swear by the chicken shwarma from wrap it up! that i will get the text colour changed and get the pic posted!!
missQ
A blank sheet, begging to be written on, drawn on, or at least crumpled up and thrown away. for a brief moment, a dance with a rush of air and a rapid descent into the darkness…met with a new texture, a new fear, and the weight of the expectation to do something great lifted off burdened corners. Who ever thought we would amount to this much nothingness…who ever thought out loud with a hint of predictive humour that this would be where our footsteps would lie. Here. Today. And if somebody had never taken this leap of faith and trusted in the intriguing mystery of the path that called, this today would be different. And who knows where the descent would have lead. Well. I guess now we will never know. And comfortingly so. Yet the new comfort comes with new fears and the bottom is an illusion of booby-trapped tiles that beg to be danced on. I will never know if I don’t try..and that is the way the world creaks and rumbles on, on its axis, unaware of the risks, the ascents and descents that it contains. Everyday a new hope, a loss, a confusion, a clarity and the constant hum of people packing up their lives and venturing onto a new track.
Would you miss what you left behind I wonder…even though you don’t know its here.
There must be some magnetic force that draws you onto the path of a speeding train even though you know you’ll lose yourself. Yet. Don’t we all hope to be proven wrong? Waiting. For some ‘thing’ to stop the earth from turning for 30 seconds so things can fall into place, and get it spinning again. Craving. For that rush of air…knowing the descent is ahead, and hoping to be proved wrong. And yet, sometimes we are proven wrong. At the times we least expect, from the sources we least expect; and you are able to trust the things you always doubted. And yes, I would miss it even though I don’t know that its here. It’s the fleeting glance of it that brings me back every time, taking the same path, hoping to see the reflection on the piece of glass being held up to the light.
hello hi.
missQ is wearing the sunshine top today.. ahem ahem.hint hint to the rocking person who bought it for her ;) im so hungry. i've been dying for this chicken shwarma and huge serving of chips with mayo and chili from wrap it up.but nobody seems to understand!!! i need it. like i need to live you know?
ugh. group projects again this year..this time i cant seem to keep the bitchiness in.
oWWW! this dude across me just kicked me under the table..flip. he doesnt care. i bet he's downloading 'corn' as we speak! yeah, so i been thinking...and drawing..and thinking some more...what's better? avoiding or confrontation..coz im in whatever mode and apparently i shouldnt be. but its working for me right now. im all chilled like. lark im sow chilled dude...its lark totally narce..everythings all waat and blue china...
k enough. crap man! this guys feets are so damn huge, i cant sit. basket!
me have to run off to seminar.yay me ;(
if i dont post by thursday..lemme just say HAPPY BIRTHDAY NIKKI!! love you loads my lil aloo!
elo all yous goods peoples :)
yeah. ok i trying to force myself to be in a good mood so i can wake up....and i have crappy meeting at 9am ;( oh well.
ew. i think somebody next to me let one go...a very beeg one.
im so forgetful today!! me almost forgot to press the bell thingy on the bus this morning when it got near my stop. almost landed up very fay from where i supposed to be...and then i forgot some other stuff i cant remember now. and no, im not getting old, i just tired.
ooh, A1 this weekend!!! yaaay!! it soo cool to hear the cars in the morning.
ok. i too tired to type.
jumma mubarak
ps. if you draw or knows anyone who draws political cartoons, or wants to write artcles for a newsletter, let me know...
fankyoubye @--'--
This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move, I'm shakin off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel... And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead
Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be,
oh Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can u see what I see
They're tryin to come back,
all my senses push Un-tie the weight bags,
I never thought I could...
Steady feet, don't fail me now
Gonna run till you can't walk
But something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down...
Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be,
oh Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there A
nd you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, you don't need What u need, what u need...
Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do u see what I see...
i got squished on the bus this morning...it seems like i attract these 'healthy' people, coz im sitting there, sleeping with my eyes open in the hope that this bus will take me to anywhere beautiful, except campus, when im jolted awake by somefatbody's thigh or elbow half on top of me. i mean, there's a whole lota space at the back, but no, they will choose to sit next to the small girlie in the front, who by the end of the trip, will have practically become one with the window.
yeah, that happened to me agin this morning...this beeeg chick came and shoved her way into my area, with a big checkers packet and a lunchbox in it which she obviously favoured over me, coz she held it up in my face like it was some kryptonite medal. eish. and then i go and volunteer to work instead of staying home. so here i am.
but yesterday, the cutest thing happened on the bus. niki and Q were on their way home. this guy was sitting in front of us, and in front of him, was this gal. after a while, he takes out a piece of paper, writes something on it, taps her on the shoulder, and gives it to her. she writes something back...and a few minutes later, he goes and sits next to her and they start talking :D and niki and Q were like 'awwww..thats so sweeeet!' valentine miracle hehe..
gawd. i am so sleepy...and this morning it was sunny and then it got rainy in 2 minutes and it confused me...and i got frowny. and now i have a headache. and im worrying about something that i shouldnt be worrying about. which is silly on my part really. but i think worrying is my thing. and baking.
pink happiness all around.
The rest of the holiday rocked though..family weddings were the bestest!! We haven’t had close family weddings in a while, and being part of it all just went beyond my expectations. The laudium wedding was so beautiful…it was held in this hall which opened up onto a garden..and my cousin got his and his bride’s names put onto the number plate. too sweet. As for the wedding in dbn, that was like a mafia wedding lol! Black merc parade. But it was stunning just as well.
I need another holiday! Its weird being back on campus. This year, it’s a whole new realm. I a lil bit worried. But its soooo cool having a degree. And then! When they stamp your student card and it says post grad. Yay. At registration, some butch Indian chick came up to my friend and I. She says, ‘ay, you people in fest yeh?’ and we were like, ‘No..we’re in POST GRAD’ hehe!! Its like the guy you’ve liked for 3years who never noticed you, coming up to and asking you out…and then you’re like. ‘no.’ :D in your face! Ok ok..maybe not as thrilling, but it rocks, and it took me a while to get here, after taking like 10 subjects in 1st and 2nd year coz I didn’t know which direction I was headed in. I’m excited about tutoring..ooh, the power of a marking pencil!!
If you’re wondering if im on a sugar high right now…10 points! For some reason I’ve been living off lindt and ferero’s and tumbles recently. Works for me though.
Anyway, im off to attack that chicken and roti thing Dew made me addicted to. Oh, happy Wellington’s Day ppl! @---,--‘
Pink happiness all around ;)
Im wearing a broken shoe.
There. Its out there. And I might add that the said shoe is the flat biscuit shoe. So named by Dew, as it looks like memon biscuits with dusty gold beads on it. And I just cant afford to not match my shoes with my choc milkshake and copper attire today, so Q, the lady, wore the broken shoe. And the broken-ness is concealed, but lets just say that if it rains, im screwed ;) coz right now the breeze from the aircon is turning my baby toe blue. But fashion before comfort I always say :D so yeah, if you cant handle being friends with broken shoe girlie, then…gimme back my hugs and smiles in a cardboard box ;)
Shame, im feeling a little bad. Just bumped into a friend who I deleted from Mxit. Its not that I stopped being interested in chatting to him, but he got a bit much, like he was tooooo excited ALL the time. I recall a conversation:
Him: so what you doing this holiday? Going north coast? South coast? Where you going?
Q: no, not going anywhere.
Him: ya? Why? You working? Im at the beach! Im lying on the sand!
Q: no, we’re redoing the kitchen
Him: ay that’s so lukker!! We bought a new stove!! :D :D :D
Q: that’s nice. See, he’s extremely sweet, but too overwhelming. Anyway, now he asks why im not on mxit and this lie just popped out ‘I deleted my mxit im so busy.’ Eish, the words just came out before I could haul them back. And he was all ‘oh shame and you mustn’t stress you know you’ll do well.’ So im feeling crappy. I’ll be over it in 5 minutes, after I eat the chicken roti chips thing for lunch..oooh…
It has just come to light that MissQ is writing both her majors on the same day. Brilliantly timed end of year finale. And while im as stroppy about it as Rachel Ray without lasagne, im happily aware that in two days of exams, I’ll be done. Bang bang. Hmm..reminds me of yesterday when I almost got killed, but that’s another funny story im keeping for my grandkids. Anyhoo, went shopping for bling outfit for wedding and wow, did I find something bling. Managed to rustle up an audience as well! Now that was hilarious and totally cool. Its nice once in a while to let people fuss over you and try on things in a bridal suite with crystals and lights and wowness. And then I had the yummiest burger ever!! Q isn’t into red meat, but I craved a normal burger with the works. And I got it :D and I found mum cute shoes! And I bought more shoes for me!! SHOES SHOES!! In the absence of mxit, I managed to find the time to revel in the quiet joys of the weekend, and get a lot done. and yes, im giving you an account of my rocking weekend and you had better enjoy it, coz I managed to wing it like some multi-tasking princess, so give Q a big whoop for doing exactly what she and mom planned ;) and flights are booked and things are falling into place for later next month when I get to chill with family and friends I haven’t seen in ages. Anyway, I have a lecture to go to..my lecturer is incredibly cute ;) in a postmodern, x-factor YDE kind of way…but alas, these last few lectures must be difficult for him too…you know, saying goodbye lol. Have a stunningly free and unobtrusive day.
hugs
You know what I hate? Guys who think they rock, when they really don’t. And also, these ones that think they know the inner workings of your brain just coz they’ve read like 2 and a half books their entire lives. And before you think, damn, she’s writing about me, please- that’s your ego talking and if you think I bet this song is about you is about you, then please do humanity a favour and slit your ankles. Another thing I cant stand which has imposed itself so blatantly this morning are idiots who think its cool to be emotionless and judgmental. Insensitivity is the dead cat attached to your shoe- don’t drag it around, you only end up alienating yourself. And yes, I could have used a more decent analogy like rotten banana peels or toilet paper attached to your shoe, but since you know why my repressed memories have chosen to use ‘dead cat’ and what it represents in that little brain which only has space for you, go ahead and tell yourself whatever you want to hear. Coz it seems that no matter how nice I am to people, I still end up being made to feel like a ditzy blondie coz you need to feel all macho. If that helps you get through your day, yay for you- but don’t bring your insanity into my world. Of course its all wow to have an intelligent conversation with someone, but that doesn’t mean you have to label things and people and be just plain arsey. Im so sick of having to work so hard to be composed lil Q – coz at the end of the day, you think this is your stage and im supposed to applaud every witty comment (that’s what you think they are). For God’s sake, be real. Im not going to be all happy clappy and sparkly every day- and you aren’t either. And there’s nothing wrong with saying ‘I feel like shit and I need to talk.’ I cant handle the generic hello’s and how are you’s from pea-brained superheroes who only want to go on and on about their own lives and what a bad deal they got in life blah blah. Selfish baskets!
Just say something nice once in a while and it might make somebody feel pretty and make you seem like less of a dickhead. And something else. I don’t like hearing things from other people about the mean thing somebody said about me. If you need to say it, just call me and say it. At least that way, im not going to think you’re spineless hypocrite. But I guess we all say things we don’t want to get out and eventually they do. Nevermind. Use this for future reference, use it as toilet paper, I don’t care. If you can’t get your act together, don’t expect me to make way for you till you decide. Right…umm. What else…can’t think of anything else, except that don’t go back on your promises. And if you draw the line, draw it with a black permanent marker. We aren’t in high school and im not the girl who’s going to wait around till 11th period when you finally graduate from the school called life.
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