11:59 PM

lets see how far we've come...

Fingers hesitant. To send or not to send? To post or not to post? The repercussions…the concertina rippling away in your head like the constant buzz of F1 cars racing to win the majority of your brain cells. Attention seeking buggers. But its Matchbox 20 that wins…

I believe it all is coming to an end
Oh well I guess we’re gonna pretend
Lets see how far we’ve come…lets see how far we’ve come


So was all the trouble worth it when you’re right back where you started? This time capsule you chronicle that you hope somebody will dig up one day and finally understand you…dont you think this cycle is enough? Isn’t it time you cut the strings pulling you back into the darkness? It all comes back to drawing the line. And a flash of someone’s smile might set off a thousand volts and at the same time fry your insides so that you no longer resemble yourself, but the cinders of the person that made you unique. Nobody’s worth that. Don’t you think sometimes you’re trying too hard to find something that’s not worth its weight in gold? don’t you think you deserve a whole lot more? Its like struggling to get on mxit and forgetting to watch Tyra on the day she actually fell off the couch. Falling. I fell down the stairs in primary school and got cut up like a drumstick waiting to be cooked. Hoping to soak in some sympathy from the boy I liked since the time I can remember liking somebody. He carried my bag and now he’s marrying some other girl. And no I cant even remember why I liked him, except that he was intelligent. Its intelligence that gets me..but somebody very insightful told me once that being broadminded is nothing. And im beginning to believe it. Nobody likes broad beans. They don’t know who they are and I bet they’re jealous of sugar beans. They know who they are.its the best they can do.koo. its dangerous to be all over the place. You never know which part of you’s gonna fall off if an 18 wheeler suddenly came charging towards you. Where did all the sane people go?

Everything fluctuates. If it didn’t, things would be boring, but I’d like a confirmation of sorts so as to assure me that im not chicken little and the sky isn’t falling and that these words im typing aren’t gong to pick up their luggage and walk off showing me the middle finger into the sunset. Orange. I saw enough orange on eid day and if that wasn’t jarring enough, my 5 little cousins came over and mentioned that the 3year old cuts holes in their couch with the kitchen knife and hides various pieces of cutlery and jewelry in the hole. That, along with the 2year old asking me if I wanted a slap for not showing her my phone was made me wonder if the memon mafia really does exist and if it does, can I disperse them throughout the country to hunt down people who need such ‘intervention’ to make em Q-friendly again. The midnight blue organza dress I got is totally Q friendly. It just depends on whether this wedding actually happens if history is anything to go by. History is the best predictor of future performance as Dr Phil’s perfectly polished brain and southern accent says. Which makes me a little worried, coz I seem to trip over the same step all the time. Literally. And maybe I haven’t come far in that respect, but I wont pretend to be something im not…and while I may be taking my time with deciding on the greater things which spell out my future, don’t expect me to play nice if other people accept your bipolar attitude and I don’t. I will push you away and not regret it. Coz I cant take the responsibility of your guilt after you’ve made it quite clear what you think of me ever since I can remember. There. Im packing up and driving away and you’ll probably only wake up when the world’s ending.

7 comments:

The Organ Harvester said...

I been told I look the youngest in my family. That I look around 25. Because I stopped worrying about things and people that i have no control over. Miss Q, unless you can slap it senseless, dont worry that pretty little head of yours over such trivial matters. There are more important things to worry about *Grin*

Like ice cream, Milo icing and tall glasses of ice cold pepsi.

Come on bring the sunshine.

Waseem said...

I like Broad Beans, esp. with Roti.

Milo Icing? what is that and where can i get it?

Your cousins remind me of my nephew Taha yesterday, shouting at Hamza to come see him in the toilet :D

SingleGuy said...

Qdee honey....they make pills for what you've got....shall I hook you up?

!Joe! said...

aw, i love broad beans, they're yummier than sugar beans :(

i saw dr phil yesterday. he was sorting out violent men who blamed the women in their lives for "bringing the anger out." it was quite shocking...

i wish i had nieces like your cousins :) mine don't do and say interesting things. they just do their homework and drop glasses of sprite like other children :(

qdee said...

OH: milo icing ;P omg. i so brought the sunshine yesterday in the yello jacket. u wouldve been proud

was: lol, cute ;) milo icing rocks! but you'd get addicted

singleguy: do the pills come in pink?

Joe: lol, i wanna trade cousins

qdee said...

... Q is logging in and threatening to pull out the keys one by one if this doesnt work again.

Anon said...

everything in life is worth it
every day in life is worth living
sure sum are bad and sum are good but each days teaches u sumthing new
each day tht goes buy will define u and help u understand you
by understanding urself will u enjoy the fruits of life
lol im sounding like doc phill...hmmm
im out
peace out


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