11:05 PM

miss Q's theory of applied psych

Inspired by gems of advice:

1. MJ only flies are attracted to shit
2. Nazeer: you need to tell people where they need to get off – the more you let roll off your back, the less baggage you’ll have.
3. Dew: as long as you know what’s going on, who cares how confused and upset he is?
4. Joe: he’s a mothereffer!! ;)
5. Mommy: the delete button – its there. Use it.

my theory proposes that since our hearts rule our heads sometimes, we need to start ingesting these pieces of advice, which will thereby lead to a harmonious state of being… Firstly, I am not a fly – hence, from this day forward, I shall not hover around shit! Also, missQ shall no longer be nice to people who whine, make her feel sorry for them and demand attention! Case study 1: befriending someone who has hurt her in the past. After being nice, attending to his whims for every iota of stomach pain he had,feels sorry for him. Then, the idiot says – ‘im feeling sick, im not right – you should be happy, I bet your duas are being answered coz I’ll never be happy.’ Gawd!! This is the guy that lost my flashdisk! That I used to take chocs and soup for when he made one lil sniff and I thought the poor guy was getting the flu. Right- taking gem number 2 into its application stage, I will not feel bad- and consequently told the guy off, leading to my next point – now I know for sure that I do not want to be around him or feel sorry anymore, because of his mothereffer status, I used the delete button!! :D

The theory may also be applicable to work situations – Case study 2: Mommy dearest, who has a back problem, at work. Handing out medication, she asks the assistant to please pick up a basket which had 5cans of NAN in it. Manager (who happens to be a kurtah and hat person, like male in Case study 1) says, ‘oh, why cant you pick it up yourself.’ Mum says, ‘ I don’t feel like hurting my back again.’ He says, ‘why not. Then you can call us and take a few days off again.’ Now, this conversation took place after she got injured on duty. While violent urges may arise in both cases, the theory is an extension of satyagraha. Miss Q proposes that no longer shall we hover around shit and give it the attention it wants! No longer shall we carry extra baggage or be uncertain! Use the delete button for selected mothereffers! My findings: after deleting, a feeling of emancipation with a slightly violent urge shall arise. This is good. Use the violent urge to buy yourself something amazing!

And we all know that there are those hypocrites who masquerade in the garb, but eventually, the correct use of the theory shall pave the way of not feeling bad for things which you cannot control and not hovering around crap.they shall be dealt with in Divine ways ;) so from here on, Miss Q's theory shall lead the way - because. we are not flies.


Waseem said...

Lol very funny post and good advice.

My theory is i dont talk to people or interact with them if i dont want to.

Hence my mxit is idiot free, i did delete a couple people to reach this stage though.

The baggage thing is god advice, but I know easier said than done.

Nazeer said...

Q... That's a useful theorem for dealing with id10ts. You're on to something. Oh! and if u publish a book on this, don't forget royalty fees! ;)

waseem... yeah it is easier said than done. But with some practice and a few baptisms of fire, it almost becomes second nature :)

qdee said...

waseem: good idea. need to have mxit eradication system attached to the theory.

nazeer: yay its U!!! :) lol the nazeer fanclub has enough money. royalty fees will be used to buy more icecream.

r said...

LoL! Move over Freud u psychopathic freak, my friend MissQ is here! brilliant brilliant hun, ur too pure to be tainted by such shit hoarding mothereffers.. POWER to th Q! LoL sorry if i sound more deranged than usual.. im completely pumped up on sinus meds and this post although written with your predicament in mind, make so much sense to me too. Mwa! luv ya hun

Anonymous said...

ai yai yai - i'm sorry to hear about all the ugliness.

I guess one has to keep a guard up, and carefully choose who you mingle with.

The guy that was so nasty to your mommy is a limp carrot. And if i was there, i would have peeled his carrot for him.

Never let that soft spot in your heart harden because of fools, cut ties with the fools yes.

M Junaid said...

ive got a filthy mind - i realised this when i was reading the comments

MJ has always had one bit off advice for all situations - 'jump him'

but that doesnt hold true for this situation

always remember - in soviet russia, Shit Attracts You!!

Anonymous said...

What morons!
TO both case scenario's!
HoRRible PPL!

Don't like them!

Deleting is required!
Well DONE!

!Joe! said...

LOL Q you know how cute you are when you get mad! :D that boy seriously needs to speak to a professional...The world is not as big as his body/mind and not everyone and everything is out to get him. i like your "i shall not hover over shit!" repetition, lol...and your ma's manager...Gawd, does he not have any decency?!You know there's another word I use for men like that..i won't say it, it's mean, but an appropriate way of addressing such losers...just make dua that these people all become better human beings...i like this theory, i need to get rid of the crap in my life too...I aint no fly :)

SingleGuy said...

Qdear...I have to be honest, I'm yet to meet a kurta and beard and hat guy that truly shone goodness from inside. I'm extra weary when speaking to them.

Major_chip_hazard said...

My delete button works great for me.I think of the rubbish and then along comes a katana and off with their head!Feels great thinking of that,but also probably my inner Samurai just wanting to chop some idiots heads off for real.Great post,and your advice always works:)
Info assmilated

qdee said...

lol lol these comments made me smile :D

r: sinus meds...share?lol but at least ur happy ;)

taqdeer: peel his carrot! hehe.brilliant.

mj: yeah, jump him is usually the advice. yet, i will nothiver around shit, which means i wont jump him.

fatima: tanx gal!

joe: yeah, architecture moment!

singleguy: so true, its such a paradox!

major: lol katana! now how could u not b indian enough hun? inner samurai- cool. dis gal i know bought her fiance 3 huge samurai swords for his birthday! awesome.

mazozo said...

Lol cool post q kick ass.I always had this theory which is similar just don associate wit nasty ppl an if u hav to treat them in a beta way cos it makes u a beta person.

That Mash Guy said...

thanks for the commment..I hope u tried the recipe,

Birmingham is ok. thats about it lol

qdee said...

hey mazozo: yay! we need filters to filter out the nonsense and two-faced ppl.

mash: tanx!

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