10:49 PM

my 2 cents

Well, since everyone’s going on about Eid – I thought I’d throw in my 2 cents- and yes, I expect some change…(especially from you jo- cant tell you how much I miss you…and dew- thank you but I forgot to check for fruit on Monday!) silly me.
anyway…
Let’s see… Eid is generally very low key on my side of the world. I don’t look forward to it. Well, I used to. But that was eight chapters ago…more like ‘in the beginning.’ Anyway, my mom, who happens to be the only sane one in the immediate family and I, do the usual on Eid day- make yummy stuff which we cant finish…go to my aunts dreary place…have lunch…sleep and entertain the visitors who so politely follow the usual routine…and then my five little cousins pop by for supper and turn the place into a savage’s haven, and this year was particularly brutal, with the penultimate edition to the pack having mainly profanities in her vocabulary. She’s just turned 3. And doddling around in her little pink pj’s, bottle in hand…she walked up to my aunt and said ‘Eid Mubarak…f**** b****…and smiled, before wondering off in my other aunt’s direction to call her a f***er. I on the other hand, was in her good books until I tried to take a picture of this angel, who can’t even pronounce her name yet, and ended up getting attacked. So my Eid started when twilight drew its lilac haze over the city when everyone sat down at the dinner table…and the other members of Ms not-so angelic’s troupe got their doses of Coke for the evening. And she got hers in her bottle.

While the 6year old and 8year old had a conversation at dinner about mxit and regarding the fact that they don’t think they’re related, I helped their eldest sister take thousands of pictures of herself- none of which she liked mainly coz she insists she doesn’t look nice when she smiles…she’s like my little sister now…I couldn’t stand her when she was six…I remember endless hours on the phone with her helping her with homework that was due the next day…and every time she wouldn’t leave me alone…and that day I made her cry coz I screamed at her when she pulled my Barbie’s hair band off and I thought she had ruined my destiny…and now she’s the person that understands the way I feel- about eid..and about my family…and we don’t spend hours on the phone anymore…we don’t even see each other except for Eid- but when we meet its like the distance was never there.

That’s what made my Eid this year. Amid all the sadness that I cant get into right now because I doubt you’ll understand (and it would take a few pages to unpack) and amid my frustrations about the way I expected my life to be…amid some insensitive people who would prefer to laugh at things they don’t understand…and why I find myself at times surrounded by selfish egotistical people who are only friends when they need something, I found some comfort in someone I repelled for most of my life. Eid is a touchy subject for me- with the passing away of my grandparents…with the void that constantly seems to betray me in the presence of people who think my life is perfect…with promises that have been broken…I hope someday I wont have to say ‘yeah it was great,’ and lie or send corny Eid messages to people I don’t even usually think about coz I feel like its an obligation. It’s so easy to be angry..It really is…but it’s so much better to laugh with someone who has no heirs about them…who doesn’t expect anything…and who genuinely cares. One of my closest friends who fits all those qualities (yes you Nazeer-lol you seem to get a lot of free advertising here) once told me…love is like a butterfly…if you run after it, it flies away…but if you sit still, it will come and land on your shoulder when you least expect it. And on Eid night…when I least expected it…my 8year old cousin caught me off-guard and hugged me…and asked for my home number…and tonight she’s calling me for homework…someone up there certainly has a sense of humour.

6 comments:

Serina said...

I'm sorry honey! I had no idea it was such a sad day for you. You just assume that its a happy , festive time for all. I'm so naive.

I know just how you feel about the homework thing. My neighbours kids are the same. But they ask so sweetly, you dont mind helping them. (the darlings)

!Joe! said...

LOL your story about your little cousin made me laugh...especially the dog bit :D

Don't be sad Q.:( Eid isn't about other people. Yes, you see family you don't want to see, but its only a few times a year. :) And when the others grow up things will be better. Small cousins become more fun, it's true. Just keep thinking of the good memories and look forward to going home at the end of the day. And can u imagine what Eid is like for them without you?!they probably see you as a breath of fresh air, the only good thing about Eid.They probably fret if you don't come on time, thinking that you won't be coming. So think "what would my adoring public/relations do without me?I have to be there, I have to set trends in my soft feminine chocolate couture! There's a world out there that needs my help; there's homework to be done!" :) Don't let people who dont matter dictate how you feel. brush them aside. I miss you too, I can't even feel my arms; they're numb from not hugging you. :(

M Junaid said...

Well- at least there's all the sweetmeats and stuff to look forward to. Yeah - Nazeer is awesome - had a lovely chat with him last night

Dew said...

And besides the sweetmeats there's always us if you need to phone, or visit on Eid day. Can't wait to see Eva driving around in the yet un coloured Sirrian...Well, thats if she makes in time ;)

qdee said...

lol im sure eva will get that rush of speed and then u'll see her on the A1 track

r said...

im sorta speechless. which is 1. unusual for me and 2. pretty pointless in a comment post but i just had to say i admire you. always have. it might seem like this was a sad post but somehow your strength shines through more than anything. (am i getting too soppy? il stop now=)


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