dam..i cant find pic of melrose cheese wedges :(
first day of campus today and mum remembered melrose! after like 7years of separation, melrose cheese and i have been reunited...it was a heavenly moment in Spar...the moment i made eye contact with the happiness in a circular container that had been missing all these years...and the words 'i have finally found my happiness' reverberated through the flat as i opened it ;) yeah yeah, sounds like utter bullshit to you, but i cant explain the effect melrose cheese has on me. Yesterdays paper said they're making a mehr coin for muslim brides that has the same value of a kruger rand and has the Ka'bah imprinted on it - sounds great, except my groom needs to have one made for me out of melrose cheese wedges ;) yeah baby!
when i was lil, my morning snack used to be a glass of milk, nuts and raisins...and melrose cheese wedges (which i aptly called 'cheesy with the moo') hehe..i think it was about the cow on the cover, Jo can relate ;)
dum da dum...i a bit bored already...sitting next to a very confused first year trying to figure out her courses. poor dingetjie. omg! 7de laan! how can Bart be dying?? thats so sad!! he so sweet and all sensitive and lovely :( dampened the last week of holiday...well, except till the granite came ;)
im in a mood. like, i wanna have a party on grass, like a braai or something - just outdoors! i saw these kids having a cute party in the park behind my house and it was soo cute! so i told mum : 'i wanna have a party too!'
mum: 'yeah, we could have family and friends braai for your birthday!'
Q: wow, that could be awesome! can we separate the mad friends and family and put em on the other side? ooh and then we could go to the beach etc...and wear all white breezy clothes, which can tie in with the lil white gazebo and so on...the weather would be perfect.
Mum: yeah..(absentmindedly) coz your birthday's usually in december...
i cant wait for Ramadaaaaan :) i just feel like this year's gonna be lovely. last year i had icecream for sehri alot and bugged mj on mxit. this year, im thinking...i'll still bug mj, but i should eat healthier things. if i sound over-excited, its coz i had to psych myself up for this day. and i get to see my friend Nikhat n the bus:Dshe's all sweet and cute and crazy - and doing masters in some hectic thing i cant pronounce...we have come up with a method of stalking i shall post later on.lol.
she's a ripper! love her to bits. she's totally unhypocritical (if thats a word) and smart and positive and funny. This is the semester of surrounding myself with positive vibes on campus ;)
think it'll work? i dunno. i magnet for nonsense sometimes. ok, me go now...
k...maybe now. k now i go.
i love this computer..the keys are all squishy and silent...
have lovely day!
Guess who popped out of the box and straight back in to blogpshere!! ;) 
Hehe, don’t ask. (Yes, that’s what I do alone at home, other than leaving myself messages on our answering machine. Don’t tell anyone)
This holiday totally and absolutely rocked! I can’t quite remember what happened between the 8th of June and July 18th, and how time flew so fast that its back to campus now – just when I started enjoying it…
Just finished writing a short story, inspired by two very different songs – Tere Bina from Guru and La Noche by Tiesto. It took me forever to write these 6 pages, searching for the perfect feeling that fit the music and the story, and that feeling at the last line made it all worth it. Ok – this is me babbling!
Anyway, this holiday made me smile…I made up with friends I thought I had lost, went bowling, cooked up a storm, shopped till my feet hurt, and worked as a PRO. We had to present a proposal to the SAFA executive board. I was sooo nervous, but they loved it and it just made things that I want to do in life seem within reach. There were memorable conversations…like:
Q (on Mxit): how the hell did we end up friends?
MJ: I don’t know. But I had to put up with loads of your shit in the beginning. But I knew I’d find something in you- and one day, I’ll find it.
Q: before, I’d have deleted you right now! Big hug.
It’s weird. Some of the rocking friendships I have now have started on really rocky ground. Lol, I can be quite a…(ok Im trying to find another word for bitch here). Like Jo – we hated each other. I was a snob and couldn’t bring myself to socialize with public school people. As for MJ, he just brought out the rage in me and I still have no idea why. Um. And there were others I can’t mention lol. I don’t know why I have such a hard time trusting people. Anyway, gold medals to you, my friends who have tolerated me ;) and now I get all mushy over them and cant stop buying them things and wanting to pinch their cheeks!
Of course, I did have my bouts of freaking out over results, but I ended up getting my deans com! Thanks to…zulu.lol. Stressing just doesn’t work. It just makes your jaw sore from grinding your teeth.
So I just let the control-freak in me go this holiday ;) And it taught me lotsa things and mum and I had a blast…she learning to type with one hand!
There were endearing offline messages, colourful songs…there were new friendships like the blogger dinner. There were inspiring books and not-so inspiring movies. Ahem. And there was dancing alone in the lounge to 90’s songs ;)
There were gorgeous sunsets…
And every minute meant something worthwhile (no, I haven’t been reading Richard Branson’s book for the 25th time), and there were some dull and rage-filled moments and crying sessions at 2am, but this holiday proved to be such an adventure. I was nearly in this play, but I had to let it go, there was too much going on. Oh! And there was Jo’s sister’s wedding!
Jo looked sooo stunning! Mum and I ended up at table number 7 on the 7/7/2007 with Leeanda Reddy, Rajesh Gopi, Krijay Govender and this Kesegan guy with Jack Nicholson hair who insisted we rip the centre-piece apart and take it home just to pay tribute to the Indians within us.lol!
Wasn’t feeling great that night, but it was a fairytale evening – and get this- there was wedding cake! And they shared it with the guests, but Jo didn’t get to taste any :(
And right now, we’re renovating the kitchen! Ooh, all black and silver and white and sexy hehe! (that’s where the box came in by the way- we don’t have like an egg farm or anything in case you’re wondering.) I can’t wait to chop tomatoes on a granite surface…wow, gives me shivers lol!
And while all these things were changing, and crazy dreams swirled around my mind in different directions, some things remained the same- I still miss Juju. I still love Michael Buble’s ‘Everything’ and…Hugo Deep Red still smells like heaven.
MissQ is happy…content and smiling. Absolute best weekend. So I lost the bowling as expected and captain juju was a pretty modest winner ;) lol ok, maybe he went home and did a victory dance – and filmed it. Weird how you sometimes only realize how much you’ve missed someone til the moment you see them at the door and that all this time, you’ve settled for mediocrity and become a cardboard person. But I think I scared him with my rage in Joyland lol, in his words ‘the basket ball fury of winter 2007’ and in my words, the night he won me ‘the gay teddy bear.’ Brilliant Kodak moment. Other juju moments:
Out at breakfast one morning:
Juju: whose that singer – the blonde one with the Ben Affleck jaw?
Q: umm…Michael Bolton?
Juju: No no…Jessica Simpson! That’s it.
To my mum as we were leaving on Saturday night:
Q: be good, no house parties mommy.
Juju: we’ll be phoning to check up on you to see if you’re behaving ;)
Lol, mum went red. It was too cute.
I cant remember the rest in order lol…they were better, but im keeping them to myself for later blackmail reference ;) im just glad out of all the people we went to school with who he cant remember, I didn’t fade away into oblivion.
But then he had to go away ;( in a plane ;( Til December ;( Not nice.
I think the next night jo and I freaked mj out with our ability to wolf down huge savoury waffles and drinks and an extra hot chocolate – and mj’s smile which gave our waitress a spring in her step and a heart in his milkshake ;) oh and I did things missQ doesn’t usually do, like buying striped clothing. Q doesn’t do stripes. She’s afraid of colours getting too close for comfort with each other and fighting for attention, but I think perfect weekend unleashed the need for colour – and this pink and white striped creation makes me dizzy, but its fun and smiley and happy and energetic ;) like current ecstatic, sparkly state (green mxit smiley here). Wholesome happiness. That’s the way it should be.
Speaking of wholesome thingies, MissQ got all domesticated yesterday! I put on my swarovsky earrings, sparkly top, new jeans – and went to the kitchen…made these yummy date crunchies..ooh, with dates, rice crispies, tennis biscuits and coconut…see:
Ugh.results.makes me sick thinking about it…wasn’t the best exam period I’ve had. but we’ll see I suppose. And this ache in my jaw isn’t helping! I ate something 2 weeks ago and I heard this ‘click’ in my jaw and then it got all wonky and painful…I thought by now, it would’ve clicked itself into correction, but I guess my stubbornness is a physical trait too…I don’t wanna go to doc…but 2weeks is forever.
MissQ’s song of the month: Michael Bublè - ‘My Everything.’
*beeeeg hug*
Smiles are contagious :D you’re infected now ;)
On the bus…crabby, its early, staring out the window..
Q (feeling sorry for herself, thinking): gawd. I shouldn’t have to take the dam bus! Life isn’t going anywhere. I wish something good would just happen, coz I’m letting everything go…its so unfair.
*two girls start talking behind me…
A: How was your trip to Zambia?
B: oh it was stunning! Such a lovely place to have a conference. Everyone was there.
A: sounds good – made any new friends?
B: Quite a few actually – I met this lady. Her husband just died last month and she was so strong, but on the inside you could see she was all cut up. She wouldn’t eat anything, she kept talking about him, like she couldn’t believe her whole life had disappeared with him.
A: oh my gosh…that’s terrible. I cant imagine what I’d do if that happened to me…but you used to talk with her?
A: yeah, we became good friends…and I met this other guy…he was in a wheelchair. He had no legs, but it didn’t let him stop him from getting to the conference…
B: wow, your trip sounded so inspiring! You must have learnt so much.
A: yeah…I realized that I’m so lucky…at least I have one leg.
At my first high school fair, I remember mom buying me one of those frames with the meaning of your name in it and all those funny little qualities that were attributed to you because of it…I think mine said ‘I had a few friends but they meant the world to me’ (which at the time, was a load of hogwash, coz I had lotsa acquaintances who basically copied my homework and used my stapler) and I had no good friends for a while at that icy private school; and it said I’d thrive in the political arena – which, for a shy, awkward girl, was as far-fetched as pole dancing ;)
Many years on, and there I was last week, talking to my tutor about choices of courses next year and it hit me that this entire dynamic world of power, people who use it, abuse it…its consequences on people, this economy that keeps people lusting after influence while others on the ground fighting for ‘the good of the people’….it all just makes me tick! And I want to have an opinion, not just let it all pass and look back and think, ‘damn, shouldn’t have let that go.’ Lol, I don’t wanna be an ashwin desai or some MEC in South Africa with assassination plots on my tail or even one of those bullet-proof vested reporters (by the way, how’s that gonna help if you get shot in the head? I think bullet-proof helmets is a niche market waiting to be explored! ;)), but researcher or political analyst sounds nice? Well…after I have a good few pounds to my name.
And while on this epic journey of self-discovery, I’ve decided on a few other fundamental things like – I want to have cake at my wedding. Why doesn’t anyone have wedding cake anymore? I know its not an ‘Islamic tradition’ (hmm…those words aren’t supposed to be together, but you know where im headed), but cake’s important! Ok, so last week’s episode of Top Billing may have influenced me, but I have to have a 3 tier white cake, with long strings of light blue glass beads hanging delicately off the top and middle tier, all reflecting the light…oh and silver dust! Um…and I don’t want all ribbons and fussy things on it. It has to be simple and classy and yummy! Its been on my mind this week. Ended up going to a unique wedding last week…it was a small nikah and dinner at Bombay to Beirut (Ohmygod…prawns, chicken jalfrezi…Italian kisses, really helped my flu), but the whole thing was a bit of a somber affair. See, she was becoming a second wife, and also, her mom passed away last year. It was different – none of the groom’s immediate family attended except his mom. And while many people had a lot to say, she’s happy – and I think not having your own mum at your wedding must be one of the worst things to have to deal with. As for the second wife thing..he has 3 kids already. I mean, how must they have felt? Anyway, it all went well I guess. But there was no cake for em to slice! ;) it would be so cool to freeze it and indulge a year later. Even if you break a tooth on the icing.lol. Surviving a year of marriage is an accomplishment these days. Hmm, though I wonder if people would really want to see one year old frozen cake…missQ has crazy idea to go put a piece of swiss roll in the freezer now and see what happens next year this time. Tried doing that to white roses with pink, sugared petals, but I think the maid threw them out with the iced bananas I had stashed in there and forgot about.
Anyhoo, lots of interesting and exciting things happening this week ;) meeting a friend I haven’t seen in aaages! And she has a lil baby! so im gonna get to pinch his cheeks and tickle him and feed him all mashed up things and dress him up like a sailor lol ;) That’s if I don’t freak him out the moment I smile widely at him and grab him.
Damn I miss blogging ;( but MissQ needs to focus on writing something worth-while this holiday. Will check in now and then. Miss you.
*hugs*
this one! this is the baba i want...
im sooo tired. I got the flu and its that achy feeling all over that makes you wish someone would just flatten you out with a rolling pin lol…I really have to rock my paper today. Hehe, I had a crazy dream about my lecturer whose paper im writing today. We were in Pirates of the Caribbean (no, I wasn’t keira) and the sea was at the bottom of the library…and he insisted that the only way I could pass was if I changed my clothes, ironed them, and put em back on again. Anyway, I refused and ended up in the CCMA where I was fighting for the right to eat my lunch in class ;) but it didn’t stop there! Later on, I found out he got a job in a pharmacy as the parcel-counter guy! And he was sitting there, marking my work and he gave me 23% for something!! Yeah..thats about it.
Was doddling around at home yesterday when all these people from my class started calling to find out about today…so I just watched my phone flashing…but this girl asked me the other day ‘are you sure you don’t know more than what the rest of us know about what’ll be in the paper?’ now that made me mad! And I asked ‘what are you implying?’ and she was kinda shocked but it really surprised me…
Oh well, MissQ’s last day today. Cant decide about this holiday…I had all these plans about getting together with friends…now im thinking I should work. Hmm..i should see whether im alive by next week Monday…this flu isn’t pretty. Some ppl can pull off a pretty flu – where they tend to look all cute and warm…im not like that. I look deathly sick, like I sold my soul to the devil. That happens in Ramadaan too.
I was thinking…fate or ‘God’s will’ can really have you in awe sometimes…recently, I was at the bustop and my friend smsed to say she was on her way..lol the bus came and went but I decided to wait for her and took the later bus. When we got to town, it was eerie and quiet and most of the shops were closed…if I had taken the earlier bus, I would’ve been caught in the midst of a violent march which I hadn’t even thought about. On the same day, I decided to take the bus before my usual stop (I take 2buses a day) and as we approached the place where I normally take the bus, the cops were out in full force coz right then and there, there was some drug bust and a shootout…if that wasn’t enough to freak me out…this morning, I somehow got the early bus, and mum called me just now to tell me that there was a shootout outside the bank there a few minutes after I had gotten the bus. Makes you wonder. Luck? Good timing? Fate? I think its no coincidence that certain factors allow you to be in these places at the right time. And we may think that Allah (SWT) lets us down by making life difficult sometimes or not fulfilling your duaas immediately…but looking closer, its His very protection that keeps us breathing..that allows me to walk through town everyday and not have my fears realized…that keeps my mum safe everyday…lol even kept Jo alive during those ‘Architorture’ days when she used to walk through Russell Street with her bag!!
And I think in subtle way, He takes nonsense out of your life..shows you people’s true colours before you make mistakes…and it can make you angry about getting hurt, but in essence, He saves you from making bigger mistakes that can impact you further on. Patience, I think is crucial. Ok, enough philosophy for today…
MissQ isn’t going to be around for a lil bit…seeing as internet at home still not hooked up – and internet café boy looks at me funny ;) so…here are my demands:
1. jo and MissQ have to bake cupcakes together!
2. Mj: you can be the taster. Pyari pyari lamhe my sugardumpling :)
3. Dew and us need to stop avoiding the ice and go skating
4. Mario, do not jet off anywhere without informing MissQ! If you land up in a war-torn place with a slab of chocolate and ppl trying to steal it from you or bomb you – hand over the chocolate! And if you’re near the sea and a tsunami approaches – do not run towards the water! :D
5. juju: I suggest you either start training or prepare for defeat in the bowels of Pav bowling alley ;) MissQ will conquer!
And to the rest of blogworld…I demand that you keep being brilliant…and ever great. Waseem and Taqdeer and Fatima :)
I’d like to thank Karan Johar for giving me this opportunity…to work with such greats and still keep my sari on and my ankles healthy after running through the field of blogosphere while singing Kabhi Kabhi ;)
Right. Meds kicking in! im off..ooh, chicken tikka tonight ;P
Alas the weekend shot me back in time with a needle and thread, flip-flops and east coast radio. It was a horrible picture…starting with Qdee at home on the couch, hemming her jeans. Firstly, jeans and MissQ don’t agree. Well, its a lop-sided relationship – I love jeans, but its unrequited. I think they repel petite girlies who revel between those difficult sizes and who aren’t tall enough for the hip size or scarecrow-narrow enough for the butt size, leaving you with jeans which waft around your waist, and cling to your thighs for dear life, making you regret last week’s tiramisu and leave your legs looking malnourished like your thighs stole all their thunder. So in all my state of confusion between 4 pairs ranging from 26 to 34, I found it. The perfect pair…as silence drowned out the noise of every pavilion shop and heavenly light descended and we made contact…anyway, its perfect…just needed a lil hem. After sewing elastic onto the top of my burqah (I had a receding burqah line after sajdah due to my procrastination of fixing it.) while pinning my jeans, I realized…there I was, on a Sunday afternoon. Sewing. And humming to the classic hits on ECR!! I think it hit me after hearing myself singing the words to ‘McCarthy Toyota – where peace of mind is part of the deeeeeal.’ And I thought – no, this cant be happening to me. I will not let myself slip even though I wrote an exam the day before and my brain was numb! So off to the beach we went, where I ended up marveling at the book stall. So much for that ;) Ooh but The Namesake was on special ok! Anyway, weekends rock if you make the most of em…or do nothing – whatever rocks your boat.lol, even if its ECR ;)
MissQ has been slightly off-centre recently…uncertain things. Ugh. You know, the constant questioning about what you say, or the way you are…like the assumption that im constantly lonely or ‘in need’ of attention coz im an only child. Or the fact that not having a significant other makes you some depressed bag-lady who sips spiked Ensure on her balcony while winking at an imaginary hunk.
Its not said in so many words, but it comes across. Whoever said significant others were the answer to the world’s problems? Sometimes they can BE a world of problems if its the wrong one;) Of course its awesome to love and be loved, but why rush if its not the right time?
Its not like I haven’t had options…like who could forget the indian triangle…
Or the Chinese inquisition at Christmas in Texas…
Or that day at the zoo, when MissQ discovered white boys…
Lol. So I have history ;) but why is it that if you’re a divorced mom or her daughter, you’re automatically thought of as desperate coz you cant afford to be selective? Please. Bullshit.
Anyway, its not like im going to shut people off for expressing their opinions – its just that people often think they’re judging the whole you, when there’s a vast expanse they haven’t even seen. There are just some things that you don’t broadcast, yet which define you in ways others will never grasp. And often, your cant be yourself around certain people. Get that? Or am I babbling. I end up confronting ppl only if it means something to me that the person knows what’s what. Otherwise I tend to let it go, say its ok or whatever coz its not gonna make a difference in the long run. Lol a close friend said to me the other day that ‘you’re too nice – one day, you’re just gonna flip and go psycho’ hehe. I have had a few nutty moments this year—oh and architecture year, where Qdee swore in public for the first time and threw her lip gloss into the bin angrily in front of everyone coz this weird guy used it and pouted at her.
So the point is…just because I seem a lil unsure of things…uncertain of jeans and my thighs, sometimes shy and avoid confrontations, does not mean Im a ladybug looking to get analysed or squished. I do stand up for myself when it counts…
Bottom line – life is full of diverse, exciting things, with incredible people…
But it isn’t a fairytale…
And it can be cruel and kind and rejuvenating and sweet and heartbreaking and time can stand still and tomorrow it can have you looking back thinking how everything’s gone so fast…essentially, its about what you make of it. Live for the moment. Be happy. Don’t judge people. Coz no matter how well you know someone, you aren’t them. Everything has a reason. This year’s taught me a lot of hard lessons already, like what’s really important…and that your capabilities extend far more than you thought they did…that what you leave behind with no expectation can come back and make your life beautiful…and that sometimes pink strappy sandals aren’t always the best fashion buy ;)
P.S...........
All hail captain juju!! :) http://www.captain-juju.blogspot.com/
MissQ welcomes ‘he who has special power to rock the world’ to blogosphere with icecream, chocolates and a black Peugeot 206 ;) Roll out the red carpet, scatter the glitter, light the lanterns and prepare the feast for his long awaited arrival from the frozen, dry corporate jungle of the northern regions (jhb). Lol. Be nice. One in a million kinda boi :)
Curling pages of sundried dreams
Sit on your windowsill
Collecting dustings of respects paid to
The invisible inevitable…
Incensed paper prayers for ashes of hope.
Shades of the blinding sunlight
Hiding behind parallel shadows
Parallel words,
Parallel safety net distance…slow
Fragile fingers trace fiery fateful nothings.
Striped curtains, sarcasm…shelter
The smell of choc-chip warmth
Melting defenses of burdened incompetence. 
Glimpses of a muted storm
Falling snowflakes settle silently.
Grace behind the gloom…
Faith behind feathery fathomed freedom
Words have paled, parched and fumed
Drowning willingly in icy reasons
Wilting on your doorstep
Through moonlit dusted avenues
Witness to the white-rose petal rain 
Of your footsteps…
Carrying a cache of secrets
As crystal glimmer catches the light
And dawn filters life into love
Inspired by gems of advice:
1. MJ only flies are attracted to shit
2. Nazeer: you need to tell people where they need to get off – the more you let roll off your back, the less baggage you’ll have.
3. Dew: as long as you know what’s going on, who cares how confused and upset he is?
4. Joe: he’s a mothereffer!! ;)
5. Mommy: the delete button – its there. Use it.
my theory proposes that since our hearts rule our heads sometimes, we need to start ingesting these pieces of advice, which will thereby lead to a harmonious state of being… Firstly, I am not a fly – hence, from this day forward, I shall not hover around shit! Also, missQ shall no longer be nice to people who whine, make her feel sorry for them and demand attention! Case study 1: befriending someone who has hurt her in the past. After being nice, attending to his whims for every iota of stomach pain he had,feels sorry for him. Then, the idiot says – ‘im feeling sick, im not right – you should be happy, I bet your duas are being answered coz I’ll never be happy.’ Gawd!! This is the guy that lost my flashdisk! That I used to take chocs and soup for when he made one lil sniff and I thought the poor guy was getting the flu. Right- taking gem number 2 into its application stage, I will not feel bad- and consequently told the guy off, leading to my next point – now I know for sure that I do not want to be around him or feel sorry anymore, because of his mothereffer status, I used the delete button!! :D
The theory may also be applicable to work situations – Case study 2: Mommy dearest, who has a back problem, at work. Handing out medication, she asks the assistant to please pick up a basket which had 5cans of NAN in it. Manager (who happens to be a kurtah and hat person, like male in Case study 1) says, ‘oh, why cant you pick it up yourself.’ Mum says, ‘ I don’t feel like hurting my back again.’ He says, ‘why not. Then you can call us and take a few days off again.’ Now, this conversation took place after she got injured on duty. While violent urges may arise in both cases, the theory is an extension of satyagraha. Miss Q proposes that no longer shall we hover around shit and give it the attention it wants! No longer shall we carry extra baggage or be uncertain! Use the delete button for selected mothereffers! My findings: after deleting, a feeling of emancipation with a slightly violent urge shall arise. This is good. Use the violent urge to buy yourself something amazing!
And we all know that there are those hypocrites who masquerade in the garb, but eventually, the correct use of the theory shall pave the way of not feeling bad for things which you cannot control and not hovering around crap.they shall be dealt with in Divine ways ;) so from here on, Miss Q's theory shall lead the way - because. we are not flies.
im so nervous! another group presentation today...dont get me wrong, im sociable and nice to people, but groupwrok brings out the vamp in me..i get all annoyed if i dont get work in time from them and get violent with their crazy referencing...but im hoping to not get squashed like a bug this time...amid all the butterflies, i got time to visit joe's blog and it put a beeeg grin on my face! visit www.lifemindlove.blogspot.com to make the day brighter. the captions are hilarious!!! (but read my post first k?) ;)
now, this presentation...we're all wearing black and there's no powerpoint allowed. im feeling very insecure without my crutch. i love powerpoint. its like...cookies and cream icecream! go get some from spar! dont deny yourself!! yumm..thos epieces of oreo cookies...the warmth of that biscuit flavour...juxtasposed with the icecream...coming together to create one of the most decadently delectable experiences on earth! ok i stop now..but qdee endorses country fresh cookies and cream icecream ;D oh, weird incident happened yesterday ont he bus..as i sat down, i noticed this really cute guy get on (he was cookies and cream kinda cute)...but qdee decided to look out the window and not look at him because a) he's probably like 18 and i dont cradle snatch or b) one of those 'back of the bus' people who wouldnt notice small qdee in towrds the front and would walk past her...and then...he sat next to me!! i dont know if his nervous twitching was involuntary, or due to nervousness, but it annoyed the hell out of me! - in a cute way ;) and then...just as im thinking, 'please say something to me,' he turns towards me...and asks..'does this bus go to town?' and qdee's thinking - duh you nut, you got on, you should know where its going- but i settled for 'yes.west street.' and we sat there in silence because im not the type to strike up conversation coz i'll say something stupid.lol and coz im not letting myslef get swept away again..and towards my stop, 'busboy' decides to ask another brillaint question 'does this bus go to the workshop? so i nodded and got off at my stop. lol.glad that's over.maybe he really didnt know where he was going hey...
god. im free for 5 hours today. i hate late presentations.like late exams..but im glad i'll see dew today! always makes my wednesdays :) as for bangladeshi drumbeat boy...he wont leave me alone!! maybe i need a new tactic.like going insane on him..but maybe he would like the psychotic me and then his 'mwah mwah mwah' and angel sms's would increase and i'd really lose it. but i;ve always attracted psycho guys. one came home and actually played with his mother's hair in front of us!! another was a dumb blonde with a psycho mother who beat up his teacher...and the other used to have imaginary conversations with his dad even though hs dad was in the next room ;) and they all seem to think they're sharukh or saif! like any south african could compare! well,maybe busboy and ryk neethling ;) ooh, saif dumped rosa so im catching the next flight to mumbai!! lol, you know if these ppl werent stars and we saw em on the road somewhere, i bet we'd say 'oh, more paki's' lol...
anyway..this post isnt going anywhere coherent...so im off...make a stop at joes blog ;)
An innocent girl…a dream…a life destroyed by the realization of it. Nobody would have guessed the promises weren’t true. Amid her parent’s disapproval and their warning, amid the tears and the signs, she begged to follow her heart and spend her life with him…until that moment – when her bridal jewelry was ripped off after society had nodded approvingly and went back to their cosy abodes, with wedding chocolates the first thing on their minds. As they disappeared into the night…the nightmare began – full of the dreams he had allowed her to believe would come true. Not this. Not leaving her alone and locking her in a cold house with no food so that he could enjoy warm meals at his mother’s house…not taking her car keys away so she couldn’t reach her parents – not beating her up until she lost the baby.
The dreams, the 1.2 million rand mansion, the honeymoon on an exotic island, had become the black hole that filled her heart and tormented her mind like the antibacterial smell of the hospital she was in. so it all came down to this…the girl who had once taken a flight overseas all by herself with a spirit of adventure that was so resilient, it preceded her…and while she may not have seen my points of view at times, she did not deserve this. She did not deserve her husband’s uncles beating her up to the point of losing consciousness. She did not deserve the lies, she did not deserve being starved…and having her soul taken away like that. I remember the excitement on her eyes 6 months ago, planning the big day – which now reflect a panicked, frightened girl in the silent hours of the morning, needing constant attention and reassurance that he will not come to take her away.
What is this? I cant wrap my head around it. A muslim boy. Who she only loved and believed – and at 20years old, she ends up being damaged! And he gets away with breaking her heart, throwing away the person she was, scarring her for life. Its not fair!! I hate that I cant do anything about it. I cant stand injustice! How do these people live with themselves?! I mean, what the hell is wrong with our community! Right, we have money, we have Islamic radio stations and a more than good turnout at ‘islamic fairs,’ but come on, wher’s the truth? We don’t see the way muslim bosses exploit their workers, making drivers work on eid days and leaving their families at home. We don’t see the way some well known muslim radio presenters own kids are exact opposites of what they preach. And for one day, don’t wear a scarf and these same people cant even look at you straight coz suddenly you aren’t good enough? Whats the good of dressing all holy if you cant act like it? Don’t make me feel guilty for wearing one when I want to and sometimes not. Don’t be hypocrites when a muslim boy can make zina with a girl and eventually not have the guts to tell his parents he wants to marry her after promising her a future. Don’t act like you value women, when you look down on a single parent family and label them ‘dysfunctional’ because a male is missing! Even though the male was violent and she took it upon herself to get her child out of that situation and make a better life for them? Like the males of our wonderful community are so brilliant – they can have degrees and own a myriad of stores and write cheques for charity and pledge them on radio, but they can turn around and flirt with a thousand white women and yet exploit muslim sisters as employers. It makes me sick!! It gets me that they denounce flirting at Islamic fairs, but still have them because it generates business. And all people want is a united ummah, yet people bicker over such trivialities like paying their workers and giving them time to read Salaah.
And no, im not against everyone – there are the rare sane ones. I’ve met 2. but it rattles my cage that its all about appearance! Everything. Portrayal. If a someone’s fair, they’re automatically gorgeous and classed differently regardless of brain capacity! If a girl wears a scarf, she’s decent and totally pure and marriage material, but if she doesn’t, she’s damned for life. If someone’s rich, let’s mingle with them coz it’s a good prospect for a cushy future. And marriage. If he’s rich, he’s approved of. What’s the point? What’s the point when nobody listens and all you hear is an innocent girl’s heart breaking?
taking a bite out of a huge watermelon...your hands and feet might get numb from all the hard work, but the taste of success is sweet.
At least it made me forget about Saturday night. Gawd. What a night.nightmare. my cousin’s wedding – gold and sea blue set the scene for a stunning wedding with a dusty gold asymmetrical couch on the stage and white roses everywhere. Lol, enough money was spent on food since the mendhi night which included Portuguese prawns and more chocolate than I’ve ever seen in one place…so the paki singer sang kabhi kabhi to me. And I thought that moment would easily be the most embarrassing moment that weekend – but no, my family had to top that! So there I am at the wedding, in this avocado and silver sharara thingie with diamante thingies in my hair…sitting all innocently at the table, with all the cute oldies…and then…it happened.
People started winking at me and acting all weird. I thought maybe one of my pins which held my top to my skirt had popped out and I was obliviously flashing some forbidden flesh at people. After checking that nothing was wrong, I walk back into the hall – and there they were – the bride’s over eager granny and a ‘potential’ surrounded by grinning family. Ugh. So I was polite…and this clever lil lady made me give him my number in front of her…it was sooooo awkward!! I mean, im not opposed to arranged meetings, but this one was like a bad joke. And I don’t wana say mean things about him, but let’s just say, his name (which sounds like a bangladeshi drumbeat) was only the tip of the iceberg. And now he wont leave me alone. But I think he may have gotten the message when I refused to send him my pic or go for coffee or shopping or anything involving us being together… well, needless to say, there was a fair amount of eye candy at that wedding and I bet all of em knew I was being set up with him. I dint know whether to laugh or cry. So I just ate icecream at home in silence. And I got asked enough times when im getting married…and resorted eventually to saying ‘when you find me the right one.’ Why do ppl insist on asking? Too much pressure. Its hard enough finding normal people to hang with – and since when has marriage become the entire point of living? Ok, so I also dream about the perfect wedding day (and the blank spot where the groom is concerned) but im in no rush…and the rate of friends that are getting divorced has freaked me out enough. So I want to be sure and while I do get annoyed that everything should be simpler, I guess everything has a place and time…til then, it would be nice if people stopped pushing me.
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